Mixed

Okay, the instruments were perfect, but the hole "voice" instrument was WAY out of tune and was too ear-piercing.

death by instrumentation

You had the right idea...

But you need better instruments, better mixing, and better filters. Also, a few notes are off.

Meh.

It had some nice sound, but I think it was not any better than the original. The melody instrument was badly chosen. Something less edgy would have worked.