I only have one real suggestion for the next version and that would be the sound at 30 seconds in the one that speeds up and then stops prior to the piano part. That sound really did not fit at all or at least I really didn't think it fit with the rest of the song very well. It was also high volume compared to the rest. You might consider scratching that small part in the next version I think it would sound better without that.
All in all though I have to say this sounded pretty nice.