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Cursed Server & CRY.NN - Body Clock (Single Edit)

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From the new Cursed Server album, "Freeki's Revenge", dropping everywhere on July 16th! If you pre-order the album, you get 7 of the tracks free including a skit! Getting the single on BandCamp helps support me. Thank you to @CryNN for the amazing work on this, as I built on what he laid down. He's an amazing producer. We plan on putting out 2 remixes of this. Below is the song meaning, and the lyrics.


Get the Single: https://cursedserver.bandcamp.com/track/body-clock-single-edit

Pre-order the Album: https://cursedserver.bandcamp.com/album/freekis-revenge


Song Meaning: Throughout my life, I've struggled with Borderline Personality Disorder. This is one of the themes behind the symbolism of the concept album with the parallels. This is not only being in Freeki's mindset, but my own. The lyrics are about what it feels like to have BPD, when you're betrayed by friends, family who casts you out when you weren't in the wrong. You start counting how many people close to you leave, or hurt you, and anticipate more to leave.


I used to struggle a lot with abandonment issues, feeling like people would betray me, hurt me, lie to me, get bored of me, leave me behind as many did, even though I wanted so badly to have a deep connection, to really connect with people. I'd lash out at the wrong people, at the slightest red flags out of fear. I wouldn't listen when they told me to get professional help, and I lost them. That was the thing that was my fault. I did have issues, and I needed help.


Overall, it's about being in that dark place, wanting that support, which I did get eventually from great friends and a great psychologist I still see. It's been a hard road to recovery, but I'm recovering. This album is that journey forward, but told as a different, more twisted story through the lenses of Freeki's eyes. This is for anyone with BPD who wants to reach out for help, but don't know how. "Do we wait until it eats us away? People come and go, but I need to stay."


Don't wait until it's too late. Seek the therapy you need, it'll help teach you more about the inner workings of your mind. I'm glad I did.


=LYRICS=


Verse 1


The lens is shrinking, what is real

I can't tell what they feel

Less heat and less bodies

Life is cold when you see nobody

Terrified on a daily basis

Everything is fading, stuck in stasis

Friends can be killers, here's a reaction

Shock and despair, running out of distractions

They take their nails and rake me down

Who is who with lies around

It's scary what people can do

I'm scared of trusting after what I've been through

All I ever wanted was to connect

Who knew manipulation and love could intersect

It's not everyone, but I think I'm done

So let's count those who departed just for fun


Chorus


The cycle is killing me

the hours are gone, I'm still not free

They packed their bags got in their car

Just when I thought we got so far

I'm only good to use when they want me

Friends come at a cost, 'cause nothing is free

The countdown ticked when the family talked

They're all gone, so let's count the body clock.


Verse 2


1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

You did this to yourself

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

The body clock can tell

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

I'm just someone they want to hate

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

I'm better off without them, this time

I reached inside my blackened soul

Peeled back the layers to regain control

The more I understand about how they hurt

The more I see how they make it hurt worse

We're counting the minutes, slipping by the hours

How long 'til we get help, we have the power

Do we wait until it eats us away

People come and go but I need to stay

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10/10

Beautiful!

firstly i don't listened to it, but now i love it. nice work, thank. lyrics is so strong.

Damn

es increíble

ThatJohnnyGuy responds:

thanks!

Credits & Info

CryNN
Author

Listens
5,539
Faves:
29
Votes
43
Score
4.35 / 5.00

Uploaded
May 26, 2021
5:04 AM EDT
Genre
Goth
File Info
Song
12.2 MB
5 min 20 sec

Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.