What is left for me to say?
Maybe the mix has some hiss that should have been removed?
The vox are great, love the guitar and harmonium. The sweep and swells are ace. There's just a lot of noise that I personally would try to remove. I think the dynamic range is flatter than expected, the track seems to ride the mid range predominately.
I don't personally like the track as something i'd listen to. Though as a b side or filler it could serve a purpose. I have heard you make and mix better.