I'll jump to the constructive criticism part right away.
-First of all, and the first fix whatsoever: You should get the beat right. The lead melody runs in 1/3 step and the rest of the song isn't. Listen to the original track and you'll hear my point.
-Add variations to the song
-Sounds like you're using FL with the built-in kick and percs, this is a big no-no :p
Keep it up. Practice makes champion :)
wheres the lyrics?
at least use a synth to do the vocalmelody
It feels like it needs to go a bit faster though