Pretty good, but I have a few suggestions:
Since I think you're trying to get a sewer feel to the song, maybe you can add some reverb on some of the instruments? It would give the song a "big room" feel.
Add in more instruments. Maybe something deep and heavy?
Not bad for a first try. I'll give it 7/10.
Thanks for the advice, i understand what you mean but I was mainly just submitting it as a loop to see its response.
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.