The idea, I'll tell you, is not bad and even excellent. Here are three lags I found here (they are very serious):

1) the vocals are very uneven in places, and also slightly obscures the musical component. I especially advise you to work on this;
2) of the cinematic samples, the more or less cinematic is the piano sounds. It would be possible to use some effects to give the composition juiciness. Look at my composition "Empire" and find the differences there.
3) dynamics. It's a lot better here than some of your earlier tracks, but it's still so-so. In the cinematic genre of music, this parameter plays a special role.

In general, not bad, at 7 points out of ten.