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The drawing is pretty good you did a good job
Doesn't look so bad, but it need heavy work on it, i understand you want to make us happy providing stuff and all, you also say it took you a whole day, its a common thing that art are long to do, can take months sometimes, i don't want to ruin your motivation and love, just be sure to try and try, but i'll give it here that you also mention shading, at least there is a not completely pin pointed light source, but you gave the feeling it had one, not that i don't like pink, but this art is perhaps saturated with it, and lastly, might want to look at the anatomy especially at her chest.
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