The proportions are way off and it looks like she has a pingas
I do commend you for trying to shade well though
I'm not entirely sure what you mean by her proportions being off. the only thing I really see is her torso and legs being long, but that's how she is depicted in the "pre-chibi" official artwork.
As for shading I haven't practiced much and I'm aware its probably what I'm the worst at.
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