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CJ2 - I Fell For You - Pt. 2

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Made for the Newgrounds Comic Jam 2!
The theme for the jam was rain.
This is part 2 of 2, part 1 can be found here:
http://www.newgrounds.com /art/view/spaghetti14/com ic-jam-2-rain-pt-1

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That dialogue is atrocious! Come on, show don't tell. He really didn't need to say "I've always hated the rain due to my paralysis" when we've just seen him get paralysed in the rain and say "fuck off" to someone who said they liked the rain. Have a bit more faith in the subtleties of your story telling! I think the problem is you chose to large a story for such a short comic, and so the character blurts out unrealistically everything he's thinking so as to reach a conclusion in 1 panel. The story is quite nice, and i like your art style, but you need to think about pacing and dialogue.

Credits & Info

Spags
Artist
Views
4,786
Score
Waiting for 4 more votes

Uploaded
Feb 20, 2012
1:57 AM EST
Category
Illustration
File Info
550 x 3286 px
JPG
1.1 MB
Tags

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