A Beef Too Far

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A Beef Too Far

Author Comments

"I was at work. I worked at a Circuit City so we had a lot of TV's turned to different channels. Suddenly, they all stopped whatever show they were airing at the same time, and there was a special news report. Dan Rather comes on the TV, he's visibly shaken, a look of terror on his face. His voice chokes with emotion; he's been doing this for decades but suddenly it's like he's an amateur again. Finally, he looks right into the eye of the camera and says:

"Today at approximately 8:15 AM, Squid totally beefed it."

You could hear a pin drop in the store. Then, when the weight of the announcement had hit us, a girl dropped a novelty mug she hadn't paid for yet on the ground, and it shattered. No one cared.

The customers all left in a hurry to be with their loved ones. Us employees began calling our families, making sure they were okay. One girl just started to cry. Me, I just stood there, in disbelief. This sort of thing wasn't supposed to happen. Not to Squid. Squid isn't supposed to beef it. And yet...and yet...he had. He had beefed it.

And I knew, at that moment, that things would never be the same.

A few minutes later the President appeared on television. He made the announcement we all knew was coming: We were at war.

Never forget the day Squid totally beefed it."



poor squid, but i still love the show rocket power even if he's dead now

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we have truly lost a great goal tender for hockey

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Credits & Info

Nov 17, 2010 | 7:43 PM EST
File Info
1800 x 900 px
1.9 mb

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