Overall your render is too dark, you could probably use a point lamp to better illuminate her face.
her hair also doesn't have any shading at all.... did you forget to use the strand setup?
i forgot how exactly but theirs a specific node setup you need if your using cycles.
its like some node you plug into the vector (Blue Dot) input of a velvet or diffuse shader that tells the material how to shade particle hair.
but the hair definitely shouldn't be all black and should have some highlights in the hair.
in general the hair is simply too messy (Though this may only be an issue with the material. )
overal this is rather nice... if you can work out your rendering kinks i think this could work nicely!