"Emi . . ."
Me: I have an Asian friend that just tells me the hair's dead anyway so it doesn't matter. It's not the hair, it's the scalp. Get it right.
"Did . . ."
Me: Is it boobs? Is it butt? Is it tasteful nudes? No? They're thighs. Get over it.
"Ugh, . . ."
Me: Just give him head. He'll know who he belongs to.
"Why . . ."
Me: Let me stop you right there . . . *takes off white gloves and quickly back hands the cheeks of your face hole* I hate people. That's why. Now be a dear and DYE MY HAIR ALREADY! Sis.