Metroid Sex

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Metroid Sex

Author Comments

It's not actually sex. They're just hugging.

I'd say I was drunk making this to save face, but this is a few years old. I just thought it was kinda cute. Use it as a screen saver on a smart phone or something. You kids and your new fangled technology. Back in my day we didn't call them "cell phones". We called 'em "walk-n-talkers" not to be confused with the "walkie-talkie", and if they weren't the size of your weird uncle's sweaty forehead they didn't work. They ran off of lima bean juice and coconut oil. If you wanted a better signal though you could always just toss in some coals in it and roast chestnuts over the open fire with your family, who have been recently impoverished due to spending all your money and selling half the furniture to afford the damn thing.

The only person I knew who owned one was Jimmy Dangery, from down the lane. He came from a wealthy family and had everything handed to him on a silver platter. While the rest of us kids contently played with our dirt and rocks he had a silver, imported stick and hoop! Those didn't even come to our town for another year!! He was nothing more than a no good, fancy-pants, Jim I say! Oh, pardon my language children. Run along now, and go play with your wooden cars and trinkets before ol' uncle Jameson gets off his rocker again and starts doing his pantless parade parties.

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Credits & Info

3.50 / 5.00

Dec 26, 2016 | 2:00 AM EST
File Info
640 x 1136 px
94.9 kb

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