You need to work on a few things. Like, this looks more like someone that might be related to the girl in the picture, not the girl in the picture.
It looks like you used chalk and pencil. Chalk is very hard to fade and use to create light shades. The best way for me is to get some on my finger and lightly rub where I want it. However, you could have gotten the desired effect easier by easing the shade in with pencil. The fading that you have done creates features and details that don't exist. And when doing facial lines, like dimples, it does help to have a soft line to tell you where the cutoff is, but try to shade in the detail as oppose to draw it in; and again rub the lead/charcoal with your finger to help smooth out the shade and fade but it can already be on the paper.
Another thing that might help is scaling. Until you are use to this use photos. Put a grid over the photo and have a grid to the same scale on what you are drawing on. If you plan on scanning onto a computer, you can draw the grid in dark lines and put on a piece of paper behind of it.
Not going to say much about the hair, curly hair is a pain to draw, I don't have advice for it other than keep trying. I think maybe learn to draw ribbons, then layer the ribbons.