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Creepy Crustacean

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Jul 9, 2010 | 9:57 PM EDT
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1280 x 994 px
204.4 kb

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Author Comments

I was at Brighton beach the other day. I had in my hands an empty coke can full of coke and an ice cream. I can't quite remember what ice cream it was but I think it was a twister.

I remember thinking to myself that sprite and ice cream don't go well together. I then remembered that I used to have ice cream floats (sounds gross but I can assure you it's delicious) all the time when I was younger...

I was minding my own business when a crab waltzed over to me. I have, since childhood, adored crabs. My star sign is Cancer, so I'm extremely scared of dying of Cancer but also happy as Crabs make me happy.

I went to stroke its fur but had my fingers snapped at. In a state of surprise I managed to utter the words "Oh, I'm sorry... Most crabs like it when I do that".

"Well I'm not any crab, I'm the fucking McDaddy crab" the cra--- the McDaddy crab responded. "I also need a quid, and you're going to give it to me".

I was so shocked and scared that I spilt my fanta all over the McDaddy crab, resulting in a lot of cussing from both parties.

After apologising for eight and four quarters of a minute, I handed over several pounds (I can't remember quite how much, though I'm sure I could buy at least another six twisters with the amount).

The crab muttered and went on its way.

After I calmed down from the ordeal, I whipped out my artist kit which comprises of eighteen pencils and two half pencils (which actually count as four pencils as you can draw from each end of the two broken shards... I have been thinking that I should do this to all my pencils), two dirty rubbers (I find dirty rubbers to add a certain unique effect to artwork), a knife, six tic tacs (all lime flavoured) and a piece of paper.

I drew the event from memory and have to say that I'm completely unsatisfied with the outcome. The crab did not look anything like this. It was far bigger. Also I'm sure that there was a background.

I would like to know everyone's feedback on how intimidating the crab looks.