Is doing a dangerous thing our fault?
I read the (brief) entry on your profile about this. It's easy to judge, to say that you were doing something dangerous and paid the price. Of course, you had done it before and were rewarded that it worked before. That's why "danger" is such an amorphous concept. Your art appropriately brings forth the confusion and chaos of suffering because of your decision, but a decision made when you could not have appreciated this possible result. I know I would blame myself anyway ...
This image is a nice expression of (what I imagine is) your personal turmoil. I hope you continue to adapt and that the chaos calms.