I'm going to assume you are not using a professional software such as Photoshop, Clip, or even free ones like Krita, ect. I would recommend you use one of those. The software wont make anyone a better artist on its own, but the tools they have can make the experience less painful. I see that your edits include lines of the same thickness, and lack of edge softening tells me this was likely done on Microsoft Paint and with a mouse. I've seen some amazing works on Paint and using a mouse dont get me wrong, but I will tell you that most well known artists try to invoke some sort of response from viewers of their art and my response is that this piece could use some more editing to achieve the effect you were looking for and Paint makes that hard to do. I recommend using the eraser tool to tighten up your shapes to be more inline with the rest of the official image's silhouettes. For art study, try drawing over one of those characters faces and breaking it down into simple shapes first on physical paper. That is an important skill for any artist. I'd also recommend more original pieces for practice rather than edits. Some might say this is really bad, but I do recommend tracing to newer artists, HOWEVER i also tell them not to post those traces. Its just to get a feel for the hand eye coordination that drawing requires. All Traced work should be immediately scrapped afterwards followed by freehand practice. You've got a ways to go, but the fun of art is the journey. Don't be discouraged if your art doesn't look like the official games art, those people are professionals. I hope to see your progress in future pieces!