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Hungry or Horny

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Being an asexual toonaphile has given me a great amount of confusion.  I feel the religous upbringing combined with abstinence only sex ed from school drove me away from trying sex.  Problem with that is my body still said, "fuck that" but my brain wouldn't let me talk to others.  (Probably due to my social anxiety.)  This forced my body find release in anyway possible.  

Also growing up,  I liked cartoons.  I didn't really find live action all that amusing as I got older.  Nothing against the medium for existing.  It just failed in comparison to the potential of animation and imagination.  This love of cartoons would stay even as I grew older, given my early introduction to Adult Swim and the like.  

My pension for art would develop as a result of wanting to bring my own ideas to life.  Problem with that is this festered alongside my developing of bizzare kinks.  Some of which downright impossible.  But that's what I loved (and "loved") about them.  Fiction and fantasy always capable of what was always out of our reach.  No matter how hard we try, even to this day.  Though I suppose that feeling of hoplessness to fufill such things was also a amusing prospect to me.  Some of these kinks can be downright dangerous, and seeing fictious characters being able to act them out with little to no consequence gave me some closure on the issue.  

By the time I felt comforable about my kinks, I realized i've ben desentized from irl porn to the point of disgust from it.  Reality became downright ugly to me.  Not to mention my still existing social anxiety causes fear of interacting much with others.  This would lead to me reaching the tipping point of just making smut after smut of my own creations, and even make ones specifically to jack it too.  It felt wonderful for a while, but I still felt shame as not being open with this with my family and friends I've met personally.  

Recently I've gotten to making more sfw stuff, but still draw nsfw cause it's become a part of my art and how I can express myself, as I dread doing so in any other way.  A recent post on twitter sparked the need to open up with this.  I need to find balance of the platonic and erotic.  For myself and the bonds I have made.  

Sorry if this a bit much for people to handle as compared to my short ass descriptions, but this is something I needed to get off my chest for a while now.  Anywho, enjoy silly/sexy pic of a dog eat dog world.  :D

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Uploaded
Mar 12, 2019
6:46 PM EDT
Category
Illustration
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10000 x 5000 px
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2.6 MB
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