Art is cluttered and confusing, the use of bright colors attracts the eyes to places in the comic that dont matter, the skin tones blends into the wall in the first panel. Just has a sloppy confusing look to it.
A good test for a comic is to try the writing without any visuals, is it still funny? Then try the art without any writing, is there an intelligible message being sent? If they both work by themselves they probably work well together. The writing is much stronger than the art in this, you should try fixing that. Remember, less is more sometimes with comic art.
Thanks for the informative review, I'll keep this in mind when working on the next comic!
It's pretty good in my opinion! like the style you have going on here.
I'm working on a new comic now that will, hopefully, look a lot cleaner than this. Glad you enjoyed it!
I got your PM so here's my review.
Very classic Newgrounds humor. My advice is to make lines more straight for objects like tables & walls, the table top is angled differently than the table leg. If you're gonna use the same shot twice I'd recommend copying and pasting the same assets just for sake of efficiency save for the things that are meant to be different.
General cleanup would be nice, I see a bunch of outlines that cross into each other when they're not meant to, like when the collar of the bathrobe crosses into its wearer's face.
It seems like you drew it all at once on one layer. I'd recommend making each panel independent of each other and assembling them together later so you can space apart panels at a distance that doesn't feel crowded. It seems like you struggle a lot with portioning out the space you use for your strip. I see this issue with your use of text as well, it looks like you made the word bubbles first and had to fit the text to it. You should type out the text first and then create the word bubble around it.
I'm assuming you use Flash for your comic strips so I'm going to use that lingo for what I have to say next. When drawing the boundaries for your panels, I recommend simply getting the box tool and sizing it using the height and width dimensions in your properties panel instead of manually drawing it out using the brush tool. I see that your shading style is merely using the brush tool with white coloring you made transparent, I can tell because the shading often crosses over into other elements like black outlines. What I would do is I'd use the line tool to outline where you want the shading to be and attach the loose ends to edges of the object you want to add shading tool, break the outlines, fill in the color with the paint bucket tool & erase the outlines.
Another technique I'd recommend is, when making your individual panels, size them as big as possible or at least as big as you're comfortable at drafting. Then once you're done with that panel, you can shrink it down to its needed size when you bring it over to the main strip. It feels like you had to scrawl some segments as small as you could and certain details had to be left out to make room as I can see details only barely don't breach the sides, particularly with the top half of panels.
If you need your panels to be at a set of specific dimensions, what I would do is draw out all the panels as they need to be on the strip and then lock the height and width dimensions together in the properties panel before copying the panels over to new stages to fill them with content. That way, no matter what number you put into the width or height, it'll retain the same proportions as before.
I want you to look into a guy called "Iconoclast", power name: Jonathan Sweet for all the "don't do" aspects of a comic strip. I find that it's more revealing to look into the things one shouldn't do than what one should do. Subtracting a problem can add a lot.
I hope my advice helps.
I use Gimp, but I can easily use this technical advice, anyway.
I'll PM you later with a more detailed response, I just wanted to let you know how happy I am to get such thoughtful insight.
I appreciate it a lot!
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