Behold, it's Captain Low-Rez! 25 pixels of spacefaring courage!
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The series features the author, Rocky Pinnicle, fighting Kermit the Frog.
So you're standing in Yankee Candle Company and your girlfriend is thrusting a New England Meadow-scented candle in your face and demanding to know whether you like it better than the Gazebo Spring-flavored one.
"Ummmmm," you mutter.
"Well, do you at least like it better than the Nantucket Harvest Festival one?" she asks.
The pressure's on. How the hell are you going to answer this one? Fortunately, you're wearing your rugged Newgrounds Tankmen T-shirt. It holds up under intense pressure situations, and gives you the confidence to weasel your way out of chick questions that no man can possibly be expected to answer.
"Look over there! Handbags!" you shout.
Whew. Problem solved. Thanks, Newgrounds!