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One day Wilford Brimley will read your fan mail and be so moved by your undying love for live that he'll leave Hollywood, parachute into your front yard, and throw himself into your arms. And he'll be happy with you, especially when he sees he vat of marshmallow fluff you've constructed from him to live in.
But what happens when people find out that Wilford is living in your basement? They'll be so consumed with lust that they'll try to break in and still poor Wilford (or Poopsy Shmoopsy as you like to call him). Better buy a chastity belt for him, just to be safe.
And you're going to buy a Newgrounds keychain to keep the key on, because you obviously can't leave it lying around for some rapscallion to steal so he can defile the purity of your beloved Wilford.