Few people intend to urinate on a child, but sometimes it just happens. When you gotta go, you gotta go.
But most people don't see it your way. They call it "child abuse", whatever that means. And when you tell them that you offered to pay the child for her services, they get even more uptight about it. Then, when you're locked up in prison with no chance of parole, you find out from your cell mate that in the United Kingdom, not only are you allowed to urinate on children, they actively encourage it. They even have a holiday - Saint Polycarp's Day - when they celebrate the act with a parade and special telethon.
With this Newgrounds UK T-shirt, you can celebrate the most enlightened land in the entire world.