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In real life Segways aren't very cool, children can only be dismembered once and the morbidly obese don't drive their motorized scooters like they're being chased by a salad bar. Is it any wonder you spend so much time playing Happy Wheels? Why waste time telling your girlfriend you're not going be helping with the dirty dishes and instead are going to watch a homeless guy in a wheelchair get dismembered all over an obstacle course? A Happy Wheels T-shirt sends the message loud and clear!