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Prominent plastic surgeon and devoted family man seeks long-term relationship.

I'm a single, 8", self-loathing vampire with rock-hard abs. I love wearing tight-fitting vinyl and polyester capes.

Activities include drinking, walks in the park, rides in my hearse, attending outsider art exhibits, and occasional bestiality. Dislikes: people shorter than me and other vampires.

If you make me yours I'd be willing to pose for you and bring along a sticker of myself. Just a word of warning: I'm frequently tipsy so you might have to lean me up against your cubicle wall, hope that's okay with you.

I look forward to being with you!