Behold, it's Captain Low-Rez! 25 pixels of spacefaring courage!
Have tea party and disco dance and sexy experiment!
Socially Awkward Male Virgins!
Ladies love dogs. They love badly drawn dogs even more. Wear this shirt and pick up some ladies. But it doesn't always work out with the ladies. Sometimes the ladies get obsessed with Facebook. Then one day you wake up and find out your lady's been "throwing monkeys" at every guy on her friends list. And then you tell her you don't like her throwing monkeys at anyone but you and she starts screaming that you're trying to control her and why don't you go back to making friends with random sluts on Myspace and you're all like whatever, I'm outta here. It's all going to end badly, but at least you'll get a nice shirt out of it. Woof.