Tired of waiting?
Click here to disable ads!
You are not logged in. If you sign up for an account,
you can gain additional voting power over time, allowing your vote to have an even
greater impact on submission scores!
Hey guys. Hope you like this animation. Please give me criticism and check out my other animations as well.
vidme is https://vid.me/zorx7
alt is https://vid.me/Not_Bad, and https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCacF6HhRzs4_VdkFYRLxiTw
newgrounds is http://zorx7.newgrounds.com/follow
steam is zorx7
twitch is zorx777
Only a five star system, so... yeah, I'll start you off with a solid three (3)...
Obviously a nod to FMJ, so for those who saw it, it was funny. Presentation was.... Okay. I saw other (similar) comments, so I'm just going to brush by this... A little over-doing it with "shaky-cam", and refer you to a YT channel called "cinefix" where you can check out their countdowns and get some excellent pointers (they really put some exposition/substance to their work) along you research as you get the time...
Also to agree with and cite cinefix, "Good audio will make you. Bad audio will break you." And frankly, you did good here... really good. The voices were clean and clear. Enunciation was crisp and understandable. And you paid enough mind to filter out noise (or avoid it altogether). There's FX and atmosphere, so you're using audio at least properly. I think you could maybe spend a little more on it and take it over the top, but that's not really important... You've done well, and let's face it, there's always something else, something more, some small way to improve...
Comedy and substance... Here's the crux' (if there is one). You've got this thing building along, so it seems to be a joke, raising the tension for the punchline. You're escalating the action alright. Maybe you could try adjusting the shaky-cam effect to coincide directly with "hits" so we (audience) still see the action very well, but the shake adds a compliment to the tension and violence... You can score a few extra points in tension as you build it that way... Start out with just the 'hit' (punch, crash, whatever) and then add just a little like you're making the 'hits' a little harder or more meaningful (intense?) as you go...
BUT now you reached that tension top-end. You've maxxed it out and there's no real release. The guy even has a gun drawn... but you went "fade to black" on us like the last episode of Sopranos. Maybe that's the kind of insidious gag you wanted, but you could just as easily have gone black in tandem with the blast of a gun... the trailing echoes of a bullet still supersonically ripping through the air (or anything else)... even a crash and a disturbed alley cat squalling would be something...
Okay, I know... this is a fair bit to digest, so take your time. Remember to breathe, relax, and then keep on keeping on. These are just a few suggestions to focus on, so for what it's worth, you'll get there from here. :o)
thanks for your in-depth response! this explained what i should improve on very well. i felt like theres always some minor part in my animations that needs to be improved, and this stated it (or them, actually.) very clearly! thank you very much! i'll be sure to check out cinefix, by the way. :)
I love this!
thanks a bunch! :)
I really enjoyed the style of animation you use. I do agree with PandaKapow, though. It is a little shaky at parts, but I really enjoy all the other aspects of this animation. Another thing I thought you did well, is that you gave credit to the original creator of the audio, instead of just saying it's all yours.
thank you very much! i'll be sure to make the shakiness less exaggerated :)
hey cool animation ;)
thanks a mil :)
I didn't enjoy the amount of shakiness in your animation and I found it to be lazy way to make the characters or objects seem animated. The characters had an inconsistency design and I didn't find the whole video funny. It teaches what alchemy is which is GREAT actually - the more we learn.
Thank you for your criticism. Are you an animator? If so, is there any animation you've made that I can use as an example of what mine should have been like?
A starving village ask a water spirit to help them.
Strawberry clock forgets his ticket on the train but maybe he'll be ok
a clock day story
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.