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SEX ED - The Truth

rated 2.26 / 5 stars
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Comedy - Original

Credits & Info

Feb 8, 2017 | 3:20 AM EST

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Author Comments

Sex Ed is a conspiracy to make sure gullible kids don't get laid.

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Rated 3 / 5 stars

First, let me assure you this wasn't bad. You've got a controversial subject, and composed a fairly thought out satire on the matter. The presentation seemed natural, rather like we could be standing on the side of the street talking about this.
That's kind of where my first suggestion comes in. Okay, it might be style, but the style's practically done-to-death out there. You honestly sound a little too natural, like conversational or unscripted. I think you'd be well served to try hitting this subject again, but actually compose the whole thing, storyboard and script, build the animatik, and follow up with the Voice Over by some effort to rehearse the thing. I get it. There's kind of a fad to serve up choppy and broken lines like something is filmed on location with no rehearsal or even a writer... You want to seem that way to look smart, but the fact that it's a cartoon kind of ruins that. It's a f** cartoon. You'll especially seem more dedicated to the craft and more intelligent to those involved in the business by having a fluid stream of thoughts in the presentation. Lines that are composed particularly well to "roll off the tongue" almost like poetry can also go a long way. No, most people don't talk that way on the street, but when you build a cartoon (which everyone knows takes long hours and hours worth of work) you do have the time to tweak the lines to fit.
Finally, on the subject itself, and the ever popular hatred of rubber... You know damn well she's only bad at blow jobs because she doesn't care to be there with a dick in her mouth anyway. Rubber was never the flavor of the month! Why would I want to make her experience any worse on the chance I actually found a girl willing to do it??? By that same token, if I was in the position to give her some (okay, probably well deserved) pleasures... Why the fuck would I fill my mouth with that god awful shit either??? For the person giving, oral is already unsatisfying and degrading enough... just be kind enough to let it be as short lived as possible... right? (unless of course, you're actually into that sort of thing) :oP Anyway, it's just a suggestion, and you might decide to incorporate it for a later edition... As an artist, I hope you revisit sometime in the fairly distant future to see where and how you've grown and changed...
Don't forget to breathe, relax, and then keep on keeping on.

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