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The adventure continues and things begin to take turn.
I have not even seen the others and I am already Intrigued and need to see the 4 prior episodes.
That is a really high compliment - thank you!
Will go with a four-star rating.... It's promising and a rock-solid good. I think the best improvement for the least investment over-all will have to do with timing here. I know you're reading the story (or such is the plot-sell), so animation is most directly competitive with the Technical Dave series and style of storytelling (just to give a reference for the timing in question)...
It's going to get monotonous and repetitive if you keep referring to dialogue with "he said", and eventually even all the synonymous versions will "play themselves out"... To avoid this, I would suggest you fill in the animation with a direct "close-up" timed with the line being delivered. In the longer run, the technique will not only make your telling a little more technical and invested, but with a growing stock-pile of close-ups for the characters most often chatty, you'll save yourself time in the process of putting the episode together. Since your central plot will mostly revolve around conversations between the same two to four characters, you only need a few close-up shots of each. For beginnings of course, you can get buy with a single "chatty close up" shot per character, but usually two or three angles to switch between will help sell drama and emotional context as you play around with them...
Of course, it's only a suggestion. Overall you've got an engaged plot and reasonably believable characters, visually as well as contextually. You're descriptive narration helps as much as the art style you've worked in, and the audio is purposeful and clean. So far... so good...
Don't forget to breathe, relax a bit, and of course, keep on keeping on... (and I hope to help)
Great suggestions and critique, maddude13pt2! I actually really appreciate it. The format is something I'm playing around with each episode and some things are starting to 'gel' more than others. The idea of the close-ups to save the "he/she said" (etc.) is very useful indeed...
A starving village ask a water spirit to help them.
Strawberry clock forgets his ticket on the train but maybe he'll be ok
a clock day story
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