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My Mother in Law is a Scorpion

rated 4.48 / 5 stars
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Credits & Info

Dec 16, 2016 | 9:24 AM EST
  • Frontpaged December 16, 2016
  • Weekly Users' Choice December 21, 2016
  • Review Crew Pick December 21, 2016
  • Daily Feature December 17, 2016

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Author Comments

One fine day
I answered the phone
It was my girlfriend inviting
Me to her home

I met her father
He cooked us a meal
It was a pleasant evening
But i began to feel

A presence, a shadow
Eyes on my neck
Her father looked nervous
I began to suspect

A secret, a lie
Someone was missing
When no one was talking
I heard a strange hissing

I felt deep down that
Something was not right
I made my excuses
I said good night

One year later
At our wedding reception
I finally uncovered
The horrible deception

My mother in law is a scorpion
My uncle fainted, my guests all fled
Woah woah
My mother in law is a scorpion
My brother is crying, the priest is dead
Woah woah

Family dinners are not fun
When you're terrified of getting stung

My mother in law is a scorpion
Did you know that scorpions don't lay eggs?
Woah woah
My mother in law is a scorpion
I said she was fat, she paralysed me legs
Woah woah



Rated 5 / 5 stars

Wait, wait. You're married now?
Last we heard of you, you were allergic to sunlight, never left your home and kept watching anime for the entirety of your life, having your last failed attempt of an relationship be with a woman in a TV, now you're engaged in matrimonium?
Time flies by, I guess?

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Sexual-Lobster responds:

turns out nice stuff can happen if you go outside.


Rated 5 / 5 stars

>day starts out miserable
>i'm cold, sick, pissed off
>new sexual lobster
>Not a trace of the bad day is left.
Thanks, always provide the best laughs I can find.

Sexual-Lobster responds:

glad you liked it!


Rated 5 / 5 stars

Was this, perhaps... Inspired by real life events?

People find this review helpful!
Sexual-Lobster responds:

this is a documentary.


Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Dad knows what's up, look at that sly dog.

Nice to see something different, and educational too!

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Rated 5 / 5 stars

I have no idea why I'm laughing right now.