Tired of waiting?
Click here to disable ads!
You are not logged in. If you sign up for an account,
you can gain additional voting power over time, allowing your vote to have an even
greater impact on submission scores!
Welcome back to "Animated Me" - the series where I animate weird and bizarre true stories from my life!
In this episode, I tell you about a particularly strange encounter I had with a Barista in Paris, France. Enjoy!
For more cartoons visit my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/crunchlins
If you enjoyed this cartoon, please leave me a comment or Tweet / Facebook me @crunchlins!
Hah, well at least you have a story to tell about it! XD An entertaining tale, both in narration and visuals. I suppose drinking tea without milk does have certain benefits...
Thanks very much for watching :)
Glad you got a laugh out of it!
10/10 world star
Thanks for the feedback and support :) Much appreciated!
The animation in the very beginning was really good. The rest of it was as was mentioned in a previous comment very "vloggy", which normally doesn't allow a lot of movement to be animated. So it was good for what it was, a telling of a story. It didn't necessarily need any extra animation. Your camera placements are a little bit off though. By using a v-cam or converting the whole scene into a symbol and scaling it in a few scenes could have helped it get more interesting, because you don't need to see your girlfriend standing next to you in every shot, she was distracting with her big ol' blink animation. If you're talking I feel like you should be in the center of the shot. The hot drinks girl was also a little small. The 180 degree rule also gets boring after a while, especially if the whole point is that you waited for 10 minutes and if it's an animation where there really are no other elements than how much animation you're willing to spend on it. That's why zooming in in certain shots is really good, especially in a vector based software. I'm not really a fan of the different colored outline. I also feel like if you're going for that sort of outline you should have it in every shot. The only reason I can think of for having a different color there is if the sun was shining on you and not the drinks lady. I don't know why you did that. I'm all for mixed elements but there's usually a clear detail and not an annoying one. ALSO, if you want to keep on making these Animated Me's you should try to tell something more with the animation that you couldn't already tell by listening to the audio. Will you get more out of the story by watching the video or is the video only for eye candy and translations?
3.5 stars because I feel like there's a lot to improve and I liked it enough to write this whole review.
Thanks for the feedback :) I'll take it all into account!
To be honest, this series began as something I could make regularly that wouldn't take as long as more detailed animations - the idea was for it to be a less detailed, animatic style series that I could make with ease whilst working on more polished animations, however, since then it has evolved into something with more colour, movement and now often takes just as long as parodies etc that I make ^_^ But also it has evolved into a series that I actually want to look more polished so this episode in particular I deliberately spent more time on. The series may differ in complexity from time to time, sometimes being more like an animatic to allow me to keep active on YouTube & Newgrounds but also work on commissions etc at the same time.
Thanks for the suggestions regarding cameras etc. Noted and appreciated!
As for outline colours, if I remember correctly they're actually all black outlines, but I sometimes experiment with adding gradient filters as a sort of camera effect, which personally I think makes the general colours in the animation a little more interesting, for me at least, however, you're right in that they're not used in every shot, or are used to different intensities depending on the colours already used in the scene, which was why it's not present in the barista shots. I agree that this would have been better if it had have been consistent. :)
Thanks for the in depth feedback and sorry for such a long response, I find it's only fair to give a detailed response (when I can) to those who spend time giving constructive feedback! :) Much appreciated! Have a great day!
I had a similar experience once. The lady asked me if I wanted a bag. I said, "One" and she thought I was trying to argue about the price???!!!
Haha, oh dear!
This is like a sitcom or something. Or a vlog, but actually funny lol! Thanks for the extra creepy smile on barista, now I'll risk nightmares tonight.
On a slightly more serious note: personally, for this episode, I didn't laugh until the very end when you said she didn't put in the tea bags. And that was because of course, your narration switched up to being more excited. Now don't get me wrong, my attention was glued to the story the entire time, which was great. And the narration is concise so I stay focused on the story.
You're great at storytelling with the concise narration and fluid animation. I personally think there's two areas you can improve your comedy in. The first would be acting. You can definitely narrate your stories well, but as I'm sure you noticed, there isn't much diversity in *how* you speak in regards to tonality.
If you don't want to change that, that's perfectly fine. Perhaps you might prefer offering the occasional quip in your regular narrating voice. Ex: "I guess there was an invisible line of ten people, and that's why she had us waiting so long." I've seen some creators do that very well.
And the second part is the animation. Perhaps you like to exaggerate certain qualities more to emphasize comedy, like you did with that creepy barista face lol
That's all the advice I had to offer, and again, quality animation.
Thanks very much for all the feedback! :) I will take that all on board!
Edit: I wanted to give a slightly more detailed response now that I have time.
As for the storytelling, thank you, I'm always open to trying new voicing methods and I'm constantly trying to improve my voice acting! I usually try to bring a tone that people will recognise throughout the series as me. However I am always looking to bring more of a vibrant comedic flow to contrast the sarcastic tone that I usually take on. Thanks for the advice!
As for animation, I agree that the animation could be way more complex. When I started making this series it was intended as some original content that I could publish to my YouTube channel regularly without halting other projects for too long and without having too many big gaps in my upload schedule. However as the series has developed I spend longer and longer on each episode to the degree that "Animated Me" pretty much takes as long as a more polished cartoon would. ^_^ Sometimes I add in some more visually exciting animated elements, but in honesty the visuals of this episode in particular were designed to make it easier on me due to time constraints whilst working on commissions etc.
To clarify, that's not me disagreeing with your feedback at all, I agree that the animation could be more exciting and varied throughout and it's certainly something I'll take into account for future episodes :)
It's da pizzaboi.
I keep on having this reoccurring dream, where Tobey Maguire watches me eat cream.
Good things do happen.
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.