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Procedural Dick

Score:
rated 3.03 / 5 stars
Views:
26,904 Views
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Genre:
Adventure - Other
Tags:
journey
amazing
exploration
ingenious

Credits & Info

Uploaded
Aug 16, 2016 | 10:08 AM EDT

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Author Comments

Update: MASSIVE DAY 1 PATCH!! LOTS OF NEW FEATURES

Tagline: "Screw you Nomansky, mine is bigger!"

As you might know, this week has seen the release of the first "procedurally generated video game". As I was told, this is the first time ever that a procedural video game has been created. A truly remarkable scientific breakthrough in gaming !

To celebrate, while we at GamesForNoobs don't have the cutting edge technology to create a procedural world in all three dimensions, we did manage to make our world procedural in one of the dimensions.

The variety is incredible. You literally have 9.47 zimbillion meters with dick to explore.

FAQ:

- How to play:
Use the arrow keys to navigate.
use SPACEBAR to attack.
and click "warp out" when you've gathered enough resources.
YOU CAN ALSO USE A GAMEPAD TO PLAY THIS GAME! Just use 'A' and 'Start' buttons

- What do you do in the game:
**T̶O̶D̶O̶:̶ ̶c̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶a̶ ̶t̶e̶a̶m̶ ̶m̶e̶e̶t̶i̶n̶g̶,̶ ̶s̶i̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶f̶i̶g̶u̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶. someday**

- Whoa! How did you make this amazing game:
You see, unlike traditional video games who create every pixel by hand and manually write all the options, we rely upon the power of MATH to generate our world (normally, math isn't used in video game development), together with real world physics theories (such as gravity, and optics, for example) we've managed to create a game which is more than a game - it's a perpetual experience.

of boredom

Reviews


pluisje1234pluisje1234

Rated 5 / 5 stars

SO I BOUGHT EVERYTHING AND IT DOESNT APPEAR IN GAME THE GIRRAFE AND ORE THE ENLARGEMENT PILLS AND THE PRE ORDER GAMES WHATS UP WITH THAT??


People find this review helpful!

joaopedrobarbeirojoaopedrobarbeiro

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

needs more stds


People find this review helpful!

debrixdebrix

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Wow, it really is a huge map, how long did it take to draw 10 zambillion meter long map? I bet it took ages

Medals, is nice.

My only grunt is that when I die, there's no way to restart. I really wanted to discover more exotic creatures.

4.666667 / 5


People find this review helpful!

DreamNDDreamND

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

"Medals! Who wants free medal?!"
Seriously... the most outstanding thing about this game is how easy is got get 5 medals worth 100 points each while 4 of them you can probably get under a minute... It makes the game really attractive for medal hunters.. I guess, since I've never seen a game which basically throws the most valuable medals at you. Of course if it would be intentional it probably would be looked down upon.

The game itself... basically nothing interesting.



Pygpen64Pygpen64

Rated 2 / 5 stars

While this is a parody, more effort could have been put into it. A wider variety of creatures to discover would have been nice.

The graphics are barely passable for a parody and could obviously use some work.

Some more commentary in game, with variety, would have helped make this parody more unique and interesting.


People find this review helpful!
Alon-Tzarafi responds:

I know. I just did the entirety of the game in 3 days. Art, music, code... so it's all crappy indeed!
But I wrapped it up and released the game just 3 days after No Man's Sky.
Because
1) I wanted to mock it on the same week it was released.
2) I felt too silly for spending time on a parody about a game which... I personally never even intend to play.