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"Hazel has a flashback in the form of a nightmare about a very unfortunate event that happened years ago.
On top of that she has to deal with two very obnoxious students at work."
It's done! I mean sure, it's pretty cringey, but it's done! I started this in January 2015, so it's about time. I haven't really done anything like this before so be gentle. :')
Thanks to all the amazing people who helped me!
Also on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3b3pBDVjU8Y&feature=youtu.be
I love the animation and almost everything about it, I was just a bit offset with some of the lines "hey, get back here" and a simple "umpf" when bumping into another teacher.
Other than that, I'd love to see more!
Ah, thank you!
Yeah, I had no prior experience of directing anything so I didn't really pay attention to that until later on. I think I asked for some retakes but things happened and Amy couldn't provide new lines so I tried to work with what I had. :)
I'm intrigued so far, I know you probably put tons of work into this so I don't want to criticize much. But at the same time I wanna mention a few things that could have been improved. That dark transition when the girls are going through the doorway with the footsteps dragged on a bit too long. The initial situation for why the girls got into trouble seemed a little forced, I mean who makes a scene out of the blue in the classroom on purpose then gets worried afterwards as if they didn't know what would happen. Would have been better if they got a laugh from the class or had some smug expressions when they were caught since they knew what they were doing.
Otherwise though, the weird blend of settings and scenes is interesting for me so far. No idea if i'll like the direction it goes, but it looks like you have some cool bad guys set up and some secret admirer love interest set up.
PS: art style is really cute as well.
Thank you for the review! Hmm, maybe you're right. Now I'm also wondering why exactly I didn't give them smug expressions. It would've fit a lot better, I admit. I think my original idea was to make Hazel look so incredibly intimidating that they would've regretted messing with her, but that kinda fell short because of the simplistic style.
Glad to hear that! Also, thanks. :>
This feels like a story with a lot of potential to grow. I enjoy the art style and the animation looks very fluid, never stiff or inhuman. The music adds a lot, without ever being distracting, which I appreciate.
I think that if you keep working on this as a series, people (including me) are really going to enjoy it.
Thanks dude! I'll definitely keep working on this. :)
Hope to see more of this series.
Thanks! Glad to hear that. ;)
I can tell that you put allot of effort into this, but I have to be honest, the only character that I even found remotely believable was Hazel, and even that was broken half way through.
Pretty much everything that happened, I could see coming from a mile away, and the scene in the music room felt like something that I would had read in my high school creative writing class.
With that established, I do have to commend your efforts in the actual animation, and general choreography itself, not many people bother with frame by frame anymore, and I can appreciate your style choices for most of the characters that have been revealed so far. I also applaud you for your background art, even if it aint the best, hey it adds allot of quality to this animation.
I also enjoyed most of the camera work in the first half, the blur effect you gave the clock as Hazel woke up was a nice touch, and most other scenes were shot at decent angles as well.
Lastly, the music quality was quite high for an independent flash animation (I assume you use flash, but am aware that there are other programs), in fact this is probably the first flash on Newgrounds that i've seen, that utilized an electric piano, if only briefly, but none the less a welcome sound indeed.
I may come off as a bit harsh in this review, granted that the only animation that I have uploaded to this site so far is a shitty TMNT animutation many years ago, I feel that I can attribute most of my gripes, to the fact that its often hard to properly introduce one's characters, without making them out to be charicatures of the original idea that the artist had in mind for them. Either way, all in all, not the worst start to a series I have ever seen, but it will need to remedy the flaws made in this pilot episode, in the second one.
Best of Luck,
You've brought up quite a few good points. I really do wish to improve the overall quality, so I'll make sure to consider those when working on the next episode!
Also, I appreciate that you took the time to write such a detailed and well-thought-out review. :)
Blue Pencilmate meets Red Pencilmate, but things don't go so well...
While taking the day off work, Lloyd and Glynis take in a movie
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