It's been two days since I doubted about myself.
Serving the military service and being a good soldier, stepping up every rank until I finally got my own platoon. Nunavut Islands, extreme north of Canada, a cold place, far away from normal people with normal lives.
I wake up another morning, let's get to service, open the front gate of Excillar prison and walk trough the front door, and there they are, waiting for me, waiting for the first wrong move I make, them can escape.
Goddamn prisoners, convicted murderers waiting for their sentence, life in prison. Wish I could just let them getaway, to see them freeze in this winter; but no, man, their hobby is piss on my head; of course, what would I expect?
Imagine a box, filled with men with nothing to do. Sorry, not men, monsters with nothing to do.
What they all have in common?
They are all locked up here, in Excillar prison, with me.
What more they have in common?
They're all psychopaths. Not one, not two, ALL. Even the cristians, they all kill each other.
But my life is easy, I might say... I mean, everything that I know, is related to war. For me, you only live in peace, if you know war.
My son is a priest. AH! Let's wish him good luck. Why he didnt listen to me? Why everything is so complicated in my f* life!?
Two years serving my duty in this prison. Two good years, good money, good friends, good drinks, good cold, good snow, good storm, good fellas. Can't complain, this piece of land is everything I ever wished for: far away from people, far away from society, far away from dreams, far away from patterns we need to follow... Just the simple violence, the control of my mind makes me focused and happy. Violence, I love you!
I woke up, put on my military clothes, started the engine of my Hunvee, drove to the prison, opened the gates, welcome to hell.
The doubt I have about my life is simple... I just won't tell you right now. Not right now...