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Apr 14, 2014 | 4:54 PM EDT

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Author Comments

!- This is the 2nd ep for part 2 -!

kurumi matsuokais living alone her father ran away and left a debt one day some one gets inside her apartment and attacking her and then carl black a young detective saves her...



Rated 1 / 5 stars

i have one question? what are you trying to convey? what is the purpose of this poorly done manga. surely you could make it into a 3d game book or perhaps an RPG?

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shokomomi responds:

im trying to tell a story nothing more and i hate 3D cgi is my most hated thing in this world i will never work with that i find 2d beautiful this story is one of the many i wrote i have so many versions of that story and now im trying to show that story in only one version here im sorry that it is still no good but ill try to improve thank you for reading~♪♫(by the way this is not manga only its style manga is a comic book)


Rated 0.5 / 5 stars

Really dude what is this both have the ending there is no climax
could do better

People find this review helpful!
shokomomi responds:

well it is only one chapter are you sure you read the others too? but thank you for reading~♪♫


Rated 0 / 5 stars

I am INCREDIBLY annoyed at the waste of my time. I was so excited at the way this began, and ready to play a great adventure. After realizing one choice led me to restart, I tried the other only to be led to the same restart. So, naturally, I started over, ran it through twice more trying both choices but wasting tons of time scrolling around EVREY DAMN SCREEN to find no other links, no other options, nothing to make this more than two minutes of clicking through conversation and making one of two choices that DIDN"T MATTER AT ALL. WTF?!?!?!? BLAM THIS PIECE OF CRAP. Make it worth my time. please.

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shokomomi responds:

You know that there are previous chapters to this one they all similar and the options don't change any thing they are just for the player experiences i'm sorry that it did not please you but thank you for reading it~♪♫


Rated 2 / 5 stars

This seems to be a bit more improved over the last installment I reviewed. There is a choice involved, which is nice (I mean it doesn't really change much to the story, but it's refreshing). The artwork, like before (even though I didn't mention it) is still good... actually, it seems improved, seeing as the characters' poses are more varied. As well, I understand that sound can't be implemented due to your computer; I just hope that if you happen to get a newer one, you could consider maybe putting in a theme or general sounds. Finally, it also seems that the grammar is somewhat improved, though only slightly. Overall, it looks like you are improving and growing; with time and effort, I think that this visual novel series will get better, though I probably can't ask for something similar to the Persona or Phoenix Wright series.

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shokomomi responds:

OMGOSH thank you i worked hard to try to improve even the slightest bit i could i know it still has a long way to go but i will try my best to improve~♪♫


Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

the option is funny but if the entire game only has 2 options you maybe better making movies i would watch this if it was a series of movies on newgrounds

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shokomomi responds:

you are right about that i wanted to put more options but this ep doesn't have much plot so i could only put that one i'll try my best on the next ep~♪♫