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Birthdays as a Grown-Up

rated 4.11 / 5 stars
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Comedy - Original

Credits & Info

Nov 7, 2013 | 4:35 PM EST

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Author Comments

Birthdays are much different than when you were a kid.

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Rated 5 / 5 stars

lol its always the endings that get you clever animations)I hate the dreaded BDAY song too but sometimes u feel bad that people dont remember your birthday,I guess its a cache 22, stuck between a rock and a hard place u want the attention but not the song lol cause it is quite embarassing, well unless you are at a restaurant and the waiters and or waitresses find out its your bday and they pay the bill for the food and even give u an awesome fart inducing extreme grande taco lol, that happened to me once ) so birthdays really are awesome depends on your experience though )

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Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Yes, I remember the first time I told people I was 100 years old on my birthday. Sure, the bewildered stares, the disbelievement, the free tubes of denture cream they give me as a joke, which I then squirt into their shoes when they're not looking, it's all great fun the first few dozen times. But at some point, they start to wise up to it. And after doing that for a couple of decades, it's just no fun any more. Well, all those people are dead now anyway. But now, I just avoid attention in every way altogether. A shadow no one quite remembers, that's me.


Rated 5 / 5 stars

Wasn't all that impressed with the story line until the very last second. That joke made the whole thing for me. Nice.

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Rated 4 / 5 stars

Makes you (or, me, at least) think.

Birthday parties and songs are effectively celebrations for not dying since the last birthday. That's worth doing when you're a child, you can kill yourself all sorts of ways without even trying, but as you get older you should generally know what to do and not do in order to stay alive from day to day, so giving you props for surviving based on habit, instinct, skills, dumb luck and good parenting becomes less noteworthy. Might as well give them a party every individual day that they're still standing.

Furthermore, I dislike when people go, "Oh, your birthday is X? I/someone I know has the same birthday!" Of course they do! There are only 360ish calendar days on the Gregorian system and nearly 7 billion people in the world. Did you think that specific day was special? Maybe going on the impression that they apportion out families and birth dates according to previously taken birthdays within a geographical area? "Sorry, you drew the short straw and we already have a December 12th in the area. You'll have to move to Swaziland."

Finally, you enforce your singing/celebration on somebody without even consulting them. You have the gall to tell them what day should or should not be special to them, when they are the only one who should otherwise get to make that decision. The nerve. Good day, sir! *flips scarf over shoulder, walks off in a huff*

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Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

When people realize its my birthday they always say, I did'nt know it was your birthday!?!?! Why didn't you tell me? Who the fuck wants to go around telling people its your birthday like some greedy motherfucker. I go under the assumption that no one gives a shit.

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