Asslevania: SOTB

rated 4.09 / 5 stars
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Action - Platformer - Other

Credits & Info

Nov 7, 2013 | 12:17 PM EST

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Medal #1 5 Points Welcome to Asslevania!
Medal #2 5 Points Reach level 2.
Medal #6 5 Points Don't skip the intro.
Medal #7 5 Points Follow me at NEWGROUNDS!
Medal #8 5 Points Check out!
Medal #9 5 Points Follow me on Twitter, so I don't have to shut up!
Medal _13 5 Points What a pile of buffalo diarrhea!
Medal _18 5 Points Welcome back!
Medal _19 5 Points FOREVER ALONE!
Medal/22 5 Points Watch the whole ending.
Medal/23 5 Points Check out Sexual-Lobster's page.
Medal/24 5 Points Check out RicePirate's page.
Medal/25 5 Points Check out JohnnyUtah's page.
Medalzzz 5 Points Don't skip the meeting with Johnny and Dracula.
Medal #3 10 Points Reach level 3
Medal #4 10 Points Reach level 4.
Medal _14 10 Points Find Alucard.
Medal _15 10 Points It takes a lick'n...
Medal _16 10 Points ...and keeps on whip'n.
Medal/20 10 Points Get a little head.
Medal/21 10 Points Eat a pork chop!
Medal/27 10 Points Beat a TIME TRIAL
Medal _10 25 Points Find the 1st hidden song.
Medal _11 25 Points Thats where I left that!
Medal _12 25 Points Never alone...
Medal _17 25 Points Make the haunted hallway more creepy.
Medal/26 25 Points Beat Time Trial in less than 3 mins.
Medal/29 25 Points Beat Dracula!
Medal #5 100 Points Reach level 5.
Medal/28 100 Points Beat REAL MODE!

Author Comments

::UPDATE:: SUPER CUPCAKE MODE! Arrow key moment, check points, and general nerfing all around. Enjoy! For those manly enough to miss the old version. I am going to keep a copy of it here for a little while.

"Dracula's castle has once again appeared, and Johnny Belmont knows that can only mean one thing! Dracula is back!!! And it's only a matter of time until the towns folk start acting all emo and goth. Drinking there coffee and smoking cigarets, reading poor me poetry to each other. And seeing how Breaking Bad is over now, Johnny really doesn't have anything else to do anyway, so it would seem a battle is fated."

Okay, so I wanted to create this game, but it quickly got out of control. So I decided to scale it down and rebuild it... and it got out of control again. ENJOY!


MOVEMENT: Arrow Keys
JUMP: Up Arrow key
SLIDE: Down Arrow Key
SLIDE JUMP: Press Jump while sliding.

TIME TRIAL AND REAL MODE--------------------------------------
These mode will unlock after you beat the game on cupcake mode.

LEVELING UP-----------------------------------------------------------
Collect start to level up Johnny Belmont.



Rated 4 / 5 stars

this game is pretty good but i have to say why did their have to be a little dude


Rated 4 / 5 stars

My only genuine problems are that the ghost is broken, its been programmed to actually fly on to the sprite and go dormant so and when it does, its guaranteed damage so it accounts for many cheap, annoying deaths... and some of the solutions to obsticals seem to favor the lazy, like the upside down crushing blocks, you can just slide through the chain rarther that it being any harder than the normal crushing block from the first levels, other than that great visuals, good voice acting as to be expected from rice pirate, sexuallobster and johnny, good job!

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Rated 4 / 5 stars

This game looks pretty alright for what it was going for, but I think it could have got a better rating out of me if it wasn't to excruciatingly hard, I give it a 4 because it's hilarious but it has some problems, and it reminds me of a series I watched on Netflix.

I forgot the name of the series but it was pixelated just like this and it was about game developing, I think the name also had "monkey" in it, but I could be wrong. If anyone knows what it is, please message me.

I feel so god damn useless when I see things as funny as that and can't remember their names!

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Rated 4 / 5 stars

a throwing star of David would be more realistic and cool than a throwing plus sign


Rated 4 / 5 stars

Exactly what I would expect from a sexuallobster video game. I fired all the crosses at the naked lady form of dracula (chocula heh heh) before discovering that you're supposed to whip her breasts. Great. Well. So I did that.

Frigging slimer. Die slimer. I'd really like to kill slimer but alas, you can't kill the ghosts.

Oh good grief. I see now why cupcake mode is called cupcake mode. How the hell could it be possible to do it in "real" mode, all on one heart. Taking damage at least against Slimer is completely unavoidable. Slimer is just too damn fast. Eh, enough of this. I won it, albeit on cupcake mode, I don't need to spend any more time on it. It's the sort of "play once and never again" sort of thing. Some things, are good or ok, but only if you do it once. This is one of them. Like a mystery. It's no good watching or reading a mystery a second time, no matter how good it was. So I give it 4 stars. But all the same, I'm done with this shit.

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deathink responds:

It's tough beating it on real mode, but man when you do, you will feel like you are on top of the world.