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Nov 7, 2013 | 12:17 PM EST

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Medal #1 5 Points Welcome to Asslevania!
Medal #2 5 Points Reach level 2.
Medal #6 5 Points Don't skip the intro.
Medal #7 5 Points Follow me at NEWGROUNDS!
Medal #8 5 Points Check out NEWGROUNDS.com!
Medal #9 5 Points Follow me on Twitter, so I don't have to shut up!
Medal _13 5 Points What a pile of buffalo diarrhea!
Medal _18 5 Points Welcome back!
Medal _19 5 Points FOREVER ALONE!
Medal/22 5 Points Watch the whole ending.
Medal/23 5 Points Check out Sexual-Lobster's page.
Medal/24 5 Points Check out RicePirate's page.
Medal/25 5 Points Check out JohnnyUtah's page.
Medalzzz 5 Points Don't skip the meeting with Johnny and Dracula.
Medal #3 10 Points Reach level 3
Medal #4 10 Points Reach level 4.
Medal _14 10 Points Find Alucard.
Medal _15 10 Points It takes a lick'n...
Medal _16 10 Points ...and keeps on whip'n.
Medal/20 10 Points Get a little head.
Medal/21 10 Points Eat a pork chop!
Medal/27 10 Points Beat a TIME TRIAL
Medal _10 25 Points Find the 1st hidden song.
Medal _11 25 Points Thats where I left that!
Medal _12 25 Points Never alone...
Medal _17 25 Points Make the haunted hallway more creepy.
Medal/26 25 Points Beat Time Trial in less than 3 mins.
Medal/29 25 Points Beat Dracula!
Medal #5 100 Points Reach level 5.
Medal/28 100 Points Beat REAL MODE!

Author Comments

::UPDATE:: SUPER CUPCAKE MODE! Arrow key moment, check points, and general nerfing all around. Enjoy! For those manly enough to miss the old version. I am going to keep a copy of it here for a little while.
http://www.newgrounds.com/projects/games/704139/preview

"Dracula's castle has once again appeared, and Johnny Belmont knows that can only mean one thing! Dracula is back!!! And it's only a matter of time until the towns folk start acting all emo and goth. Drinking there coffee and smoking cigarets, reading poor me poetry to each other. And seeing how Breaking Bad is over now, Johnny really doesn't have anything else to do anyway, so it would seem a battle is fated."

Okay, so I wanted to create this game, but it quickly got out of control. So I decided to scale it down and rebuild it... and it got out of control again. ENJOY!

THANK YOU RICEPIRATE JOHNNYUTAH and SEXUAL-LOBSTER

CONTROLS----------------------------------------------------------------
MOVEMENT: Arrow Keys
USE WHIP: X Key
JUMP: Up Arrow key
HOLY CROSS: Z Key
SLIDE: Down Arrow Key
SLIDE JUMP: Press Jump while sliding.

TIME TRIAL AND REAL MODE--------------------------------------
These mode will unlock after you beat the game on cupcake mode.

LEVELING UP-----------------------------------------------------------
Collect start to level up Johnny Belmont.

Reviews


TheOtherMeTheOtherMe

Rated 4 / 5 stars

I just finished cupcake mode and time trial, and I have to say that I enjoyed this game. First off, It was difficult, which is the first thing that comes to mind when I think of the castlevania series. Well, at least the first game. It was difficult in both a good and a bad way. The restrictions of the character's movements together with the layout of the castle made it hard to forge on ahead without planning your moves beforehand. That is, when you aren't thrown into a piston right after you dash into the next room, or into Dracula himself, right after a cutscene. Dying because you can't see into the future is not an enjoyable experience, but It can be appreciated as a nod to the era where 4 hours of gameplay could be stretched into 4 months of trying, dying and crying. At least ironically. I also enjoyed the jibes at the castlevania series as a whole. For instance, everywhere you go you are assaulted by invisible walls, which I presume are a reference to the nonlinear nature of the metroidvania games. There was a wall chicken (sadly inside a painting) but I'm dissapointed that there were no unfairly placed stairs with enemies next to them that made it impossible to pass without taking damage.

The game was simply a joy to speedrun. The dash mechanic made it feel so good to zoom through the level, and unfair obstacles weren't really a problem since you're expected to memorize the layout in a speed run.

All in all, I loved it, but the artificial difficulty was a problem for me. I mean, taking away all but one of my hearts and expecting me to beat Dracula? That's reaching the meatboy simon says boss in hell levels of frustration.

Ps. What is up with the tower on the right path, the one you can take before reaching Dracula? The tower is just empty.


People find this review helpful!
deathink responds:

Hey man, thanks for the review. I am really glad you enjoyed the game and all its subtle Homages. I really did mean this as a speed run type of game. Pt 2 will be vary none linear (that part is built already) and will be much more an exploration type of game. Oh and that one town my not be completely empty... hint hint.


WCCCWCCC

Rated 4 / 5 stars

An interesting game that leaves the player screaming "I DAMN THEE ARTIFICIAL DIFFICULTY!". Obviously a huge throwback to castlevania in many ways and, while not near as hard, still presents a large number of talking points that could be called unjustifiably outdated or intentionally rigged to screw the player over as frequently as possible, which I might have favored a whip delay or something in exchange for these:
-Rooms you occasionally enter instantaneously in harm's way. One room you literally enter falling into a crusher and it sucker-punches you almost every time for some health.
-Crushers + ghosts. I'm almost 100% sure this was done very intentionally to attempt to infinite combo the player into death regardless of level or health standing, unless you miraculously pull it off without getting caught into it. Crushers or spikes make the player turn backwards for a brief instant, giving the ghosts a free card to approach. Many of the spinning spikes do not present opportunities to repel the ghosts, but rather hopefully just get through it so you don't have the ghost ANYWHERE in the spike region and of course, don't get hit afterwards. If the ghost is anywhere within the field of spikes (which appear in groups almost always for mini-marathons of this) and you cross the point where the ghost is "dormant" the ghost will live inside your ass and waste 0 time violating said ass into a pulp, often leaving the player paralyzed in a state of irrevocable ass-kicking.
-I re-iterate this. Ghosts that are, at any point, unable to be repelled and must have their exact region crossed over, almost always guaranteed to result in death.
-Green ghosts proving to be outrageously hard to contend with, with almost every room they appear in sporting the idea "don't get hit or you're dead regardless". Though, this could easily be the motto for any room with multiple obstacles with any chance of coming into close proximity, since the paralytic hit period guarantees you can keep getting sucker punched over and over again until your death.
-Many rooms you can't really work out a solid strategy that seems to guarantee or even moderately increase your odds of coming out alive, regardless of health level. Some just throw so much crap at you in such rapid, brutal succession that you have to perform them perfectly in a manner that often doesn't seem clear in timing or even often method to the player. Many rooms I would best in one attempt by shear luck, try to repeat what I'd done in said lucky streak later, and consequently get pulverized because even after having done it a few times, I still had no fucking idea how I'd done so.

Other than that, there were lots of humorous bits, psyche outs, and lots of little details that simply bled retro, including many of my areas of disappointment. My only regret is that the only remotely modern mechanic present was the "level" system, which seemed pretty ill-explained, poorly tracked in progress, and generally had a humongous tendency to not make a half-shit's difference unless what was hurting you was a single, lone obstacle or opponent.

This IS a good game, despite the negative aura around my review. It's a fun tribute and representation of Castlevania, but simply seems contradictory, counterproductive, or mildly uncreative at some points due to the over-abundance of similarities present.
I'm sure many others find this to be a real masterpiece.
8/10, 4/5 ~WCCC


People find this review helpful!
deathink responds:

Thanks for the review man. I grew up in the 80's, when developers still had the "drain all kids of there quarters" mentality. I love brutally hard games, and if you were a fan of castlevania, you loved it for 2 reasons. It had monsters, and it kicked your ass. I Made this game for myself and other hardcore games out there (like Mick).


NeverThatNeverThat

Rated 5 / 5 stars

how do you kill the "tits"?
also is it a glitch if you hit "R" you get a free cross throw?


People find this review helpful!
deathink responds:

That should be fixed now... as for the boobies... just keep slapping them!


SpectrenceSpectrence

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Not sure if I can say "fun game" since it was a borrowed scenario, but it was definitely a fun parody and well designed game. My only complaint would have to be that the attack controls did not feel very intuitive at all. Maybe it was just me but using left and right to attack was really messing with my head there.



NHPhillipsNHPhillips

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Well done guys, it's a ton of fun so far. Also extremely funny... and really hard >.<. But I'm enjoying myself.