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Aug 14, 2013 | 7:17 PM EDT

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Shattered Heaven

Episode 1 "The Path Laid Out"

An original mecha animated web series based off the novel series of the same name.

A hundred years has passed since the rebirth of humanity. A new world, born from a catastrophe of its own making. The world has grown and technology has advanced. Genesis Global, the world's fore front developer of mechanized frames continue to help educate new generations. The New Year is upon us. For each year, a new path is revealed.

Cast in order of appearance

Narrator: Ty Konzak
Extras: Tamtu Bui, Heidi Tabing, Gerardo Paz
Mike Aquilus: Carlos Moreno
Grace Cooper: Corinne S.
Christina Efflorenso: Michelle Deco
Sean Repens: Brian Gilbert
Jen Fama: Jasmine Carbonell
Amy Caecus: Kira Buckland
Adam Novus: Adam Tilford
Severen: Niel Sumter
Catherine Henning: Brittany Lauda
Sarah Henning: Holly Hampson
Stephen Novus: Greg Nugent
Veronica Laboro: Jessi Nowack

Music composed by Project Trinity

Ending theme
"Broken Machine"
Performed by Amanda Lee
Lyrics and composition by Luke Thomas

Purchase the full song here - http://shatteredheaven.bandcamp.com/

Follow the series:

Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/ShatteredHeaven
Twitter - https://twitter.com/christilford

First novel available on Kindle -
http://www.amazon.com/Shattered-Heaven-Sins-Soul-ebook/dp/B007QOVL38

Reviews


NeochildsNeochilds

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Regardless for my distaste of how the review and critic was handled by Kage-IchihashiKage-Ichihashi, she did make a few valid points regarding your work but it's not what was said but how she stated it I disliked and sounding like an ass gets you no where. Anyway dude keep up the work, do for the love of god fix those lines and work on perspectives and 90% of what she stated unfortunately is true. Raise the bar, make your project unique claim it as your own as so far you have not claimed it and it seems to lack that AHHH DAYUM! feeling. It definitely lacks depth and it's not because you are lazy as this is 15 minutes of animation but there are many tricks to doing that with lighting. I love the narrator and the various character-voice actors. Then again this is not a huge or high budget so I understand that you are working within the limits of your constraints. The one thing I can definitely state is that the voices is much better than 90% of the anime dubs out there.
Unfortunately being an animator and artist it's hard to not get distracted by the perspective and some level of details with depth and character designs, but I did take a look at your profile post regarding being a writer and not being an artist/animator so I will leave it at that. Don't forget you are a creator now so strive to be better and you will be able to do it, don't make excuses. Note to you from me I was never a programmer but I made a game and I don't use the line well I am not a programmer so it's not that great, my statement is I am not a programmer so I will try my best to be better through levels of progress. Anyway dude keep at it I want to see where this goes.


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nikedrummer33 responds:

The art style and lines is an ongoing process. It really is, I've been improving since when I first started and I'll continue as such. So that's not really a problem. The uniqueness, yeah, I can't really say much about it since it's hard to judge a full story on a single snippet. Most people don't review books based on only one chapter and then say it lacks themes, etc, etc. Mainly because things develop over time. No author I know exposes everything immediately. I don't get why people judge/assume to know the story's full theme based on 1 installment. Seems premature really. Just something I've noticed with pretty much every web series so it's more of a general statement I'm making. Like I said in the description, I'm converting my book into an animation. So I'm still a bit "off" when it comes to episodic things. With a book it's straight forward, you have the initial chapter where maybe not a lot happens but you read the next chapter and it's easier to judge the whole thing completely. I actually spoke with some people before doing the first episode, I wasn't sure if I wanted to start the series off at the point in the book where the story/plot really takes off and then do a flash back to show how their life was before the shift. The majority of people told me to keep it chronologically and to have the audience experience it with the character. I could have done it better, clearly. What I was aiming for with the first few episodes is to show the unassuming/laid back/not deep portion of their lives and then have that as the contrast for when they're abruptly introduced to how the world really is. There is a lot of depth and meaning and themes in the book, it's just not shown yet because of how I chose to start it off. A lot about the world is left in the dark for a reason. I wanted to have characters there who do know what's going on and use them as foreshadowing with some lines that may seem unassuming but when the shift happens people can see "oh, that's what was meant." Again, could have done that better. I actually didn't realize most of the names weren't even mentioned until I started mixing it. At that point I just said to hell with it and moved to finish the episode. I actually was looking for a voice director early on, I had someone but something came up. Not that this is an excuse, but I work full time and have a lot of shit going on in life so ultimately I wasn't really in some "let's be creative, happy" state. I was really stringing along, depressed and working on this was the only thing really keeping me going. I've been aware of the flaws, the voice direction being big, the slowness of the first episode, too many characters shown at first. Pretty much all of that was adjusted with the 2nd episode. Since it's based on my book, I already know what's going on and the scripts are done in bulk.

I can't really look back anymore, I'm overall happy with what I put out, this being the first thing I've completed since 2011. And when looking back at those, I know I've improved and I have listened to a lot of critiques and people helped me improve. But I'm not "satisfied" with this episode and I know there's things I could have done better, but it's best to just move on to the next one and implement them there. To sound selfish, I needed this finished and put out for myself, it was a testament that I could finish it and get through the life issues that were making it difficult to work. Working on this after a 9-5, staying up til about 3, maybe getting 4 hours of sleep. Now that it's out, it's a bit easier to get people to help out. I've always preferred to get people on board, but at the time, it wasn't happening, whether due to scheduling issues or other things. If this was something where I had an endless amount of time, then yeah, I'd spend a shit load more time upping the individual quality of character depths and designs, but I don't. So I have to balance my time with what I can manage and still finish things. Naturally, as time goes on, they will be improved, but I don't want people expecting a big jump from this to the next episode.

I take all criticism and look to use it to improve. But like you mentioned, I was a bit disappointed in how rude some reviews have been. I give a lot of critiques to people as well, and the one thing that's obvious is that there's the right way to do it and then there's just a demeaning and insulting way. And when you do it that way, no one takes half of what you say with any merit. But ignoring the negative and really insulting reviews, I've been rather surprised at the support and that there are people who do enjoy it, and the ones who did leave honest critiques are still looking forward to seeing it improve, not just writing it off as"this is shit." So that's appreciated.

All I can really say at the end of it, is that I'm not satisfied with this episode, I've been aware of the flaws and I am working to make them not an issue going forward. I actually feel a lot more confident about this after getting this out and working on something with an actual level of confidence as opposed to depression and trying to ignore certain things, is going to make a ridiculous difference. I hope that I do make noticeable improvements going forward.


coutecoute

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

The animation is not very good but I'm not going to hold that against you or this flash like some others. Everyone has their own current skill level and I'm sure you're going to improve greatly if you keep at it. There are plenty of interesting and exciting flashes with animation that is on par or worse than this flash.

However, this flash is neither interesting or exciting.

Some of it has to do with the animation, it's very lifeless at some places and there's some very bad timing in others. But, like I said, I trust that you will improve on that in time.

It mostly has to do with the fact that even though this is an "intro" episode, it has too much exposition which really drags it down. I feel like too many characters have been introduced and you try to characterize each one of them too soon.

It also leaves me wondering how many episodes you plan for this series. If it's on the shorter side I would have recommended cutting out a few of the characters. Nonetheless, many of these characters should have been saved for later. Some could have been introduced briefly and then characterized later, even in flashback to explain what they were doing in episode 1. There could have been a few short scenes introducing the side characters and show a little of how they relate to the story / main character but it was just way over done in this episode.


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TheSirKniteTheSirKnite

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Great, compelling story, given great animation and art design, makes this awesome.



Eloc-FreidonEloc-Freidon

Rated 3 / 5 stars

I wanted to enjoy this, but the dialogue is cliche. None of it felt organic. Animation was fine. Is there such a thing as too much character exposition? It is when its forced. The first episode of a series should focus on the world. A spot for the characters to start.

It turned from an action scifi to a basic television drama way too fast.



zeroXX0zeroXX0

Rated 3 / 5 stars

look at the ending what do u think it looks like i give a hint it begins with G and ends with UNDAM SEED PRETTY OBVIOUS