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Aug 14, 2013 | 7:17 PM EDT

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Shattered Heaven

Episode 1 "The Path Laid Out"

An original mecha animated web series based off the novel series of the same name.

A hundred years has passed since the rebirth of humanity. A new world, born from a catastrophe of its own making. The world has grown and technology has advanced. Genesis Global, the world's fore front developer of mechanized frames continue to help educate new generations. The New Year is upon us. For each year, a new path is revealed.

Cast in order of appearance

Narrator: Ty Konzak
Extras: Tamtu Bui, Heidi Tabing, Gerardo Paz
Mike Aquilus: Carlos Moreno
Grace Cooper: Corinne S.
Christina Efflorenso: Michelle Deco
Sean Repens: Brian Gilbert
Jen Fama: Jasmine Carbonell
Amy Caecus: Kira Buckland
Adam Novus: Adam Tilford
Severen: Niel Sumter
Catherine Henning: Brittany Lauda
Sarah Henning: Holly Hampson
Stephen Novus: Greg Nugent
Veronica Laboro: Jessi Nowack

Music composed by Project Trinity

Ending theme
"Broken Machine"
Performed by Amanda Lee
Lyrics and composition by Luke Thomas

Purchase the full song here - http://shatteredheaven.bandcamp.com/

Follow the series:

Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/ShatteredHeaven
Twitter - https://twitter.com/christilford

First novel available on Kindle -
http://www.amazon.com/Shattered-Heaven-Sins-Soul-ebook/dp/B007QOVL38

Reviews


Kage-IchihashiKage-Ichihashi

Rated 0.5 / 5 stars August 22, 2013

Well, first and foremost, this story is utterly attrocious. Potential or no, the execution is all over the place. You introduce a handful of characters on screen but hardly a name is given to them before we're introduced to more. It's as if the storyteller expects us to go into this world as omnipotent. How am I supposed to know who the pink-haired girl is and what her relation is to this Sarah person is (who I only recognized because Holly has a distinctive accent and not because the character was notable) if I don't even know her name?

Not only do your characters lack names, but they lack any sort of individual voice whatsoever. Simply casting different voices does not set apart their manner of speaking or identity from one another. You need an editor to keep your story concise and on track, or you really need to start analyzing your own work from a technical standpoint. The writing fails on so many rudimentary levels that it cancels out all of the work you put into making almost 15 minutes of animation.

Secondly, what makes your story any different than the umpteen other successful mecha anime that exist? What sets Shattered Heaven apart? Because as far as I can tell, there is no commentary, no theme, no identity. The characters all fit tropes and archetypes, but no one feels solid or authentic. What is it about the mecha genre that serves the narrative you're trying to tell? Are you trying to make a mecha just because you like mechs or does it actually serve a purpose to your storytelling?

Moving on from the writing, because I could go on about that for a while, the voice acting is subpar, which was a disappointment because you've got a pretty stellar cast. They lacked a lot of direction, and it was pretty clear that this was recorded at various points in the past. The actors seemed just as lost and unaware of their characters as the writer and audience did. Some actors seemed to want to downplay their delivery into a more subtle, nuanced, and realistic performance, whereas others wanted to play up the animated nature of the medium. The best example of that is at about 7 minutes and 45 seconds in, the character of Sean, I assume? The bumbling and idiotic line came across less like someone who realizes their mistake and more like an alcoholic having a seizure. This compared to the scene that follows between Adam and Amy is jarring and unfocused.

Along with an editor for the story, you would benefit greatly from a voice director - someone who could take the work off yours hands and weave together solid performances from obviously talented actors as a cohesive whole. This is why animation often requires teams; a fresh pair of ears and eyes allow for a much better product.

Finally, I am no expert on animation. I recognize the difficulty and level of dedication necessary to complete the amount of work that goes into it. However, for such an ambitious project, I feel that it would benefit you to connect your lineart. It's so distracting to see all of these incomplete lines hanging off of one another and not meeting in any manner, especially when your art style is not spectacular. Everything comes off as flat, there is no depth to the backgrounds, the movement is not fluid or interesting, and your overall visual composition lacks foresight. It would behoove you to take a film class to understand cinematography, as well as an anatomy or figure drawing class. The hands, by far, were my biggest pet peeve. If they were not connected to the character's arms, I would not have recognized them as such.

I recognize your passion and desire to make something compelling and worthwhile. Unfortunately, you failed. Ambition does not matter when you are lazy. You certainly worked hard to complete a product, and I commend you for that, but ultimately, after having seen all your previous work, it does not appear that you are taking constructive criticism and working to improve. You would benefit from doing one of two things with this. Either construct a team to assist you in your artistic vision or begin to condense this massive project and focus your efforts in more concentrated ways. As of this moment, this is far too much for what you seem to be capable of when there are so many questions that you need to answer for yourself and for the sake of your story.


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Makuro-Of-ShadowMakuro-Of-Shadow

Rated 4 / 5 stars August 22, 2013

This has some really good potential, i can't wait to see how this expands and evolves :) I would say to make each episode a little shorter, but you did needed to introduce the history and and stuff so thats understandable. I would also attempt to make the characters as unique as possible when you animate them, especially in the female characters, they all just lose a bit of personalisation compared to the still at the end.

However, i know how tough it can be creating such in depth and lengthy content, and you've got a one-up on me because you're actually producing content. So once again, i can't wait to see how you, and this animation evolves :D Good Work :)


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Dangerous-DDangerous-D

Rated 5 / 5 stars August 21, 2013

Loving this



Hack-BackHack-Back

Rated 5 / 5 stars August 21, 2013

First thing is first, I would like to agree with oldmanorange, SirBladewind has absolutely no experience in flash animation. I dabbled in it during my high school years, making my own custom preloaders and etc from scratch and only managing to finish my animation part way though. However, I understand how hard it is to make video like this, especially if you draw it frame by frame, which is a respectable and honorable thing to do now seeing how very few artists do it like that. I see a lot of "tweening" or "sheeting" going on now. This is an indie video that deserves props, the storyline has an excellent plot and has my interest. If I can stay focused on your video while working on my research then you good sir have truly made something. Keep up the good work, I'm looking forward to episode 2!



oldmanorangeoldmanorange

Rated 5 / 5 stars August 21, 2013

This is really nice. Keep up the good work and forget about the guy below me. I hate when people want to kick your, let me say, FREE content, to the ground and then try to give some, just try harder next time bullshit. And the worst part is when they don't even have any of their own content. So do what you want to do and keep going with it.


People find this review helpful!