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I know everyone hates it when someone submits an unfinished project to the portal, but for my evaluation I need feedback from the Newgrounds community!
So If you can spare a minute to critique my work so far, I would really appreciate it!
Thanks alot, the final animation will be finished for May 13th.
I understand this isn't finished, but here are a few things that could clean the film up.
The music is nice and soft in the beginning, yet you're moving the screen way too fast, and it makes everything feel awkward. Zoom in and out a little slower, and maybe have the whole beginning scene have less zooming, and make it go a bit faster.
This whole event is taking place at night, and torches don't light things up that well, even in the bright corridors. Consider lowering the brightness a bit in the castle and outside it too, and have there be a glow around the torch lights. There's no way the moon is that bright (unless it's an alien planet), so the torches have to be the main source of light in the castle. The robots and castle walls are also way too bright, they should practically be silhouettes save for a couple of shiny bits from the moon.
Your golden knight guy is a little too mysterious. Is he trying to save the prisoner? Does he just feel like fucking up some robots? If your school doesn't care about the story and just wants to see some animation skills, then maybe the character development should be a lower priority. Otherwise, give us a little background info on him. Mysterious guys are cool and all, but they've been overdone in stories everywhere.
Some of the animations were alright. Animating someone running facing the screen is really hard, and you handled it well. The destruction of the bridge and the robot's death were very convincing. Just make some parts look less clunky, like the prisoner moving on the chain. Try shaking the screen a little when he's running at around 1:04 so it feels like the guy is really putting some effort into it.
On your finished piece try making the art in general look a little bit more detailed, because I'm guessing a few smudges for mountains aren't going to cut it for college work. Though I do understand you're working with a deadline, so it's probably better to just get a working product out and then go back to fix up the art. If you can work on this with someone else, then I would highly recommend it to save some much needed time if you want to stick with the deadline.
It's great to see you're looking for feedback, and I hope this review doesn't sound overly critical or anything, but I'm only judging what you've given, and there's still a lot of work to be done on this.
I rather enjoyed this flash all be it isn't finished it had a smooth animation and I whould like to see a completed product. But it could do with some more explaining, plot, and dialogue. Still its unfinished and I must give this movie some credit, it has potential.
(Bad timing: the Portal is currently so backed up with new submissions, due to site problem....)
The intro shots seem to take a while to establish the setting, which is fine in a longer piece, but to live up to the title, you need to show more of what corruption does to people, or show it in context a bit more than you did... though the dark edifices and crumbling bridge, do qualify in that regard. Action seemed fine, though it looked a little out of context with the setting at times, but it just looks like unusual camera angles (no problem there, made it interesting to see).
Just keep going! It's hard to evaluate, when it's not a piece in and of itself. Best of luck!
ACK! MUST finish!!
I hate it when people submit half-finished items. Especially when they're great like this! D: You MUST finish!
Stop reading this review! It's taking time away from you working on the second half of this.
Why are you still reading?
Badass job man, now finish it I want to see the rest. As far as critique goes I don't see much wrong with it keep up the good work.
Pilot for my new show!
A story about a worm, a beetle and a very hungry bird…
New video for you to watch, while we wait for the next plague to happen...
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