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Apr 1, 2013 | 2:07 PM EDT

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Welcome one and all, future gamers, to the live, large and in charge debut of the first in the Ultimate Runbot(C) series! PDRoSoURX9CoHitSY1953:tR2 , or "Paula Deen's Return of Son of Ultimate Runbot: X9000: Champion of Hyperjustice in the Space Year 1953: the Run-ening 2" for short, was a freak accident created when a team of criminally insane Russian scientists attempted to create a machine that would calculate and output a detailed simulation of life had the United States not actually been fully obliterated in the Great Carp Conflict of 1936. Before self destructing and permanently destroying all life on Earth, the machine spat out this harrowing and grim prediction on a 3,592 meter long microfiche sheet that we have painstakingly recreated and now present to you. Please enjoy.

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In the space year 1953, America and the evil forces of the Communist Union were entrenched in a deadly conflict known as the Cold War. Being that an arms race was at the time deemed too economically taxing for the then growing powers, the USSR suggested a more practical method of conflict resolution: a literal race, ran by steam powered robots. The King of the United States, Ronald Dubya, issued a royal decree following the proposition that all steam powered locomotion methods were banned due to affiliation with communism and instead financed a thirty one trillion dollar project to build a running robot fueled entirely by Doritos(R). This is his story.

As the son of Ultimate Runbot x9000, you've got some really fast shoes to fill, and there's no way you could do it alone. But don't lose hope! All the way from southern America, Paula Deen gives you tips, tricks, and dirty little secrets to give you a leg up on that gigantic and fun-filled Doritotastic(R) adventure.

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NEW and UNFINISHED for 2013! What will happen when the ENIGMATIC TIMER of MYSTERY hits zero? What does the SHITTY LOOKING BATTERY signify? These questions will NEVER BE ANSWERED! Party on, gamers!

Reviews


Aliendude2Aliendude2

Rated 0 / 5 stars April 3, 2013

So what am I supposed to do? Also, why M rating?



xassassin13xassassin13

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars April 3, 2013

Cool game. made it to level 22 and mt score was 509298698.



neworleansdudeneworleansdude

Rated 2 / 5 stars April 2, 2013

Sorta funny



mechadude32mechadude32

Rated 0 / 5 stars April 1, 2013

please tell me this is some sort of April Fools...