Tired of waiting?
Click here to disable ads!
You are not logged in. If you sign up for an account,
you can gain additional voting power over time, allowing your vote to have an even
greater impact on submission scores!
the adventures of steven caballero, the scratch animated episode series featuring my sc games characters on the scratch websites.
episode plot - an evil space tyrant known as dark mass comes down
to earth to desroy steven, some call him darth bucket for the strong resembelance
he has to darth vader from the star wars series.
I've been noticing a bunch of these Adventures of Steven Caballero episodes showing up in the portal recently so I finally decided to check one of them out. It looks like each episode is generally around five to six minutes long, which is a pretty good length for a cartoon series episode, not too short but not too long.
The voice acting is okay, but I think it could use a larger variety of voices. If you want voice actors, check out http://voiceacting.proboards.com, though if you do post an ad there, I would recommend improving your art style to something a little more presentable than what it is now. Your voice is good, but variety is something this series can really benefit from.
I don't really like the way you drew the characters, it looks like you drew them all using the line tool, there aren't really any curves in the lines. If you have a mouse, I would suggest getting a tablet and actually drawing the characters normally as opposed to attaching a bunch of lines together.
Starting off an episode with "The fifth episode takes place in..." is a violation of the classic "Show, don't tell" rule. This may seem like nitpicking but it isn't, if you get into a habit of telling your viewers things instead of showing them, it will interfere with the viewer's experience usually. One way to fix this is to put something like, "(INSERT WHERE IT TAKES PLACE), (INSERT TIME)" - it looks cool and you're not really telling the audience about it outright.
Having characters be stupid for comedic effect can be funny, but if they're too stupid and are downright annoying, then that's how they'll come off as, stupid and annoying instead of funny or whatever other positive quality you want your characters to have.
Even if, for example, the character is a villain, they should still have good qualities that make them seem like a villain rather than a harmless doofus.
The "6 months later" thing is a good idea if it's not a series episode, but if it's an episode of a cartoon series it might cause confusion and continuity errors. There's a good chance it probably won't, just something minor I wanted to point out.
You seem to be interested in creating a well-liked series. You're a good writer, but haphazard art/animation quality is really detracting from the writing. It doesn't have to look amazing, but it has to at least look "okay" or else people will always be distracted by the art style and they might never be able to fully enjoy the storytelling in these episodes.
This might seem a bit useless in retrospect since apparently you already have 60 or so episodes of this made, but still, you might want to consider these points for any future episodes you are interested in making.
Good luck in your future projects.
not all my episodes have this same style of story telling and narration, each new episode improves on something funny and fitting the plot. i did the narration thing because i wanted these episodes to play like old shows such as tom slick, super chicken and or george of the jungle. as it turns out i kind of failed. but my newer episode get better over all, in a certain episode i cancel the narration.
ASTEROID HURLING TOWARDS EARTH!!!
tasty crunch of yummy cookie crumble
Detective Nwar is one day away from retirement.
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.