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Swingers Episode 5

rated 4.22 / 5 stars
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Comedy - Original

Credits & Info

Jan 20, 2013 | 7:43 PM EST
  • Frontpaged January 23, 2013
  • Daily Feature January 22, 2013
  • Weekly 4th Place January 23, 2013

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Author Comments

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"A Little Less Conversation" By Elvis Presley

"Swingers Side Show Dance Club has an interesting staff.

Curiosity can kill."

Up this week by the skin of my teeth. And longer than a minute this time. Part of why it took so long... I refused to cut anything this time.



Rated 4 / 5 stars

Work a bit at voices please. Perhaps a more interesting action with actual comedy in it would help.


Rated 4 / 5 stars

I can somewhat sense what you're going for, and you've pulled off the aesthetic better than you have in the previous episodes, so there is definitely improvement here. You seem to have nailed down the feeling of what you want to happen, but I think you can still execute the lines and cues better.

The characters don't seem to be dynamically present at times, they often feel layered onto the same scene. One thing that contributes to this is that the characters tend to have attitudes/reactions that are exaggerated too far from generally relatable attitudes/reactions. For example, Ragtime always seems to have a sour attitude, but I can't gather 'why' she does from the information given in these movies. I find myself asking, "What is her daily life like to make her feel the way she does?," "how was her childhood?," etc.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the characters strike me as one-dimensional. In my opinion, more character/story depth is needed to take this series to its full potential. I do enjoy the series as it is, and a couple parts in this episode were executed well enough to be humorous, but that's all the reason for me to want to see this series become all that it can be.

Great work and effort! Good luck and keep improving!

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Warlord-of-Noodles responds:

I don't show my cards in the first hand.


Rated 4 / 5 stars

I'm liking this series thus far. Over time if things keep going full speed I wouldn't mind an improvement of audio quality as its the only thing I can really poke at as far as constructive criticism goes.

I thoroughly enjoy the abundant and well-placed usage of animated frames, and the originality of the art direction, scenery and character design.


Rated 4 / 5 stars

Love the magic forensics! Looks like fun xD


Rated 4 / 5 stars

I love this world you have created in "Swingers." Every installment in enjoyable to watch and I'm always looking forward to the next one. Some suggestions: 1) On the audio, which I know you have been trying to work on, there is still an abruptness to the way the sound plays, especially the music. I would suggest slowly introducing the song with a fade-in, while the previous action is wrapping up. That way, you can create a little more continuity from event to event. 2) On the story, the overall plot was entertaining, but the resolution was too quick. You needed to either over-express Ragtime's assertiveness over the genie or draw out the ending just a little more to provide explanation for how she was able to pull it off so easily.

But this is rapidly becoming one of my favorite series, so keep it up!

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