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Uploaded
Oct 8, 2012 | 6:52 PM EDT
  • Daily 2nd Place October 10, 2012

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Author Comments

This is a 3D animated short film prologue I spent 9 months working on, it was made in Autodesk Maya and rendered using Pixar's Renderman. The film is about a mysterious character who explores the dark depths of a giant abandoned facility. The purpose of this instalment is to create an atmosphere and establish the environment. It acts as a prologue to a whole series of upcoming shorts films about the character's journey through the facility; this is just the first phase of the story.

Reviews


sandordudesandordude

Rated 4 / 5 stars October 11, 2012

I'm not one of those review freaks. But I'd really like to say sth here. I think you put a lot of effort into this, but as Kieroman mentioned I think you should've worked on the walking-running cycle and on the way he holds his weapon. Also @ 1:24 that column moves a bit weird. Not sure if it was your intention or it just looks weird. But nvm that. And in my opinion everything is a bit too square. You can see that your maps consist of a lot of smaller objects that all put together build the world- I really liked the sounds and the soundtracks. In general I think it's amazing.. you should definitely continue working on this masterpiece :)



BadArbiphileBadArbiphile

Rated 5 / 5 stars October 11, 2012

You obviously have some serious talent here. I can look at this and just tell that you have some patience. A little more polishing and I'm sure you'll get places, my friend.



KieromanKieroman

Rated 4 / 5 stars October 11, 2012

Great video, good sound effects and graphics. I like the ambience.

Like some people said, you need to work on the walking and running. I would also add the way he is holding the gun: it should be closer to the body, and more in an angle, and the left arm was to far from the center of the body (the elbow should be closer and then its the forarm that gets away)

And also the gun was to static, it should go up and down as he runs.

I hope you don't take this as a negative review, I'm just trying to give you a few tips.
Great job, keep up.



CamoRalphCamoRalph

Rated 2 / 5 stars October 11, 2012

I can tell a lot of work went into the modelling of the sets, characters, etc and I get what you were going for, but I have to be blunt about this - this was really boring.

While I can appreciate the enormity of the design, the fact that we watch one lone soldier running and running and standing and running and standing and typing and looking around makes for one really boring film. For starters, everything is desaturated and flat, boring grey. I understand you're establishing the setting as a big expansive factory/mega structure... but even then, there's no variety, just massive grey blocks that fit together. The music is slow and repetitive and the animation is floaty, weightless and also repetitive. It's a recipe of repetition and it gets boring really quickly.

I know I sound really harsh when I say all this, but I'm saying it to help you realise what's wrong with the short. I admire the effort you went to make this, it's clear this would have taken a long time, but if your intent was to show "a mysterious character explores the dark depths of a giant abandoned facility" - then it really didn't read. I honestly read this as a soldier going to work. At no point was he exploring, searching, pausing, looking around - he was simply running in a perfectly straight line like he knew where he was going. He had no intent, he felt like he was on rails.

For me, what this film really needs to help boost it in the right direction is establishment. Where are we, how big is the facility, who is the character, how did he get there, why is he there. These questions NEED to be answered well and truly at the beginning in order to help the film's pace, otherwise it becomes something entirely different, and we lose interest quickly.

Thanks for posting this. Regardless of what people say, you should be extremely proud at the amount of work that went into it, and eager to dive back in and make it even better.

Good luck with the next phase man!
Cam



SuckTheRainbowSuckTheRainbow

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars October 11, 2012

Reallyniec content, the vast setting and music made it really powerfully silent. Loved that so much.

I don't like to say it, but the running/walking animation took away a lot of potential for some deep, quietly philsophical stuff. It just looked plain gooofy, which was kind of a bummer.

Other than that, really great video!