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This is my first real animation, I have been working on it for about a month. feedback would be appreciated!
you don't seem to accept critique, or do you? as i can see you don't. even though you said feedback would be appreciated. I couldn't have said it better than SCTE3. But your answer was just rude. He found the time to write a review that good with advice and everything and you were just a jerk.
This is the most horrible flash i have seen on newgrounds until now. I'm sorry but that's how i see it. I hope you find the time to read SCTE3's comment and take his advice. It'll be worth it.
The worst thing about this flash is the music. Too loud!
And how do they run. You can't even call it like that.
I don't get why this wasn't blammed.
I hoped for constructive critisism, there is no need to freak out. Instead of saying that it's bad, why don't you tell me how to improve? You are very rude. I plan on releasing more animations soon, I hope that they will have more helpful reviews than this one. P.S. don't insult others when you can't do better yourself.
nice , keep trying
Thanks man, will do!
STILL so much better than those unoriginal zelda parodies on the front page.
Your first time and your first animation. While this is pretty bad for the most part I'm hoping you'll improve over time. The main issue here is a lack of a preloader and or finishing frame. You can easily go to the download section of Newgrounds and get some preloaders to help you get started.
The animation itself seemed pretty shoddy at best since it seemed to be two layers. One layer being the background or Mario and Luigi while in the foreground the characters moved and Mario just made a sporadic bunch of faces while writing. Something that needs to be done here is practice, practice, practice drawing so your next piece will look better.
Could spend at least thirty minutes to an hour each day practicing drawing with either a mouse or tablet. Then the next thing to practice is smooth transitioning in flash, instead of just copying and pasting Mario and Luigi in random positions or just giving Mario a random face on each new frame, try to make it look more like they are walking. Since you're just starting out you could use tweens until you get better. As for Mario's face, would have looked a little better if you had just made his mouth be opening and closing instead of the random bunch of faces he had. That and I suppose making him look derped in the eyes could be humorous, that and having him blink every few frames.
During the last part where Mario and Luigi look bizarre is probably the best part since it looks like you spent time drawing them there. The downside being I didn't see Mario's mouth move when he spoke or Luigi and then it loops all over again!
As far as audio goes, needs to be lower in volume. From hearing this flash, lowering it by around 30% in Audacity wouldn't be too bad here. The real problem the audio gives is it gets louder and louder each time it looks due to this lacking a preloader or ending frame. Also since it starts over when Luigi says "And you gotta help us!", you should cut the audio off right there.
Overall, lots and lots of problems here that could be fixed up. Giving half a star since you at least tried.
Haha! Love it and it gave me a laugh :D Only youtube poopers know the joke :D
And for people who don't understand a sh*t, look here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6NPJf 6iEhw
Thanks man, I put a lot of effort into it and it's nice to know people appreciate it.
Can't beat that game!!
It's Payday Fellas !
GwainSaga - (Original Serie)
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