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You loaded the game. And it didn't crash! So this is more a medal for me than you. Nevertheless, it's yours.
Raining At the Parthenon
It's raining at the Parthenon again! Wait, that's not rain...
Wow, that was really, REALLY terrible score. ... THAT deserves a medal!
God of War'douvres
Get Ares to eat you. This isn't hard, just get close to him.
Not bad! You're halfway to unicorn status with your 'over 5k but less than 10k' result!
Take one too many arrows to the knee. Er, nut. Er, you.
You became the unicorn! The world thanks you! Mostly because it will taste delicious.