Tired of waiting?
Click here to disable ads!
You are not logged in. If you sign up for an account,
you can gain additional voting power over time, allowing your vote to have an even
greater impact on submission scores!
Leave a comment if i should make another better one
This was part of a longer story but i just didnt feel like continuing it
Interesting story. Though like others have already stated, the lackluster voices of some of the characters really draw you away from what could possibly be an interesting series.
One part that gave me a chuckle, which I am sure wasn't suppose to, was when kimono man (pardon me for not remembering his name) said "Something bad will happen" I just pictured her saying "Like this?" Only reason why it gave me a chuckle was the fact I figured with all the black tentacles rising around her, she seemed rather blase about the situation at hand, instead of screaming. She could at least raise the decibel level of her voice by a few levels to express some sort of emotion.
What was the "Drop it!" video at the end of the credits at the 5:10 mark? Was it an alternative idea for ending or opening credits animation? It seemed quite interesting, and you can tell it was cut abruptly short.
Thx for the tips- I'm gonna have somebody else help me with better dialogue for a future instalment
I thought this was good.
But if you must know, the characters were lacking in emotion and the animation needs some work.
However, I think you should continue this because I want to know where this story is going.
I enjoyed this, the only problems where already outlined by other users. However if you are interested I would like to help you in writing the storyline a bit better. I think you have a good idea but it needs its plot fixed in order to be its best. If you want my help feel free to contact me. If not then good luck on future endeavors.
This was pretty good, but two things:
Firstly, you should probably invest in some sound effects, it gives everything just an extra touch
And secondly, the girl who voiced Rika, I could barely hear her and she didn't have alot of emotion, or really any at all. Other than that, I was happy to voice in this. Even as a minor character.
If I make another one- your character would be Tasuke which has a larger part
overall i think everything kinda fell apart as I lost motivation toward the end
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.