Tired of waiting?
Click here to disable ads!
You are not logged in. If you sign up for an account,
you can gain additional voting power over time, allowing your vote to have an even
greater impact on submission scores!
This is a work or progress so be kind, just wonder what i should do next to it and how to make it better. Thank you for you comments.
Hey, we've never really reviewed flash submissions before, just saw that you used our song. I enjoyed it personally, and thank you for using our song. If you ever need anything specifically made or want to use any others just let us know!
thats great to hear.
-The close up on her eyes is just terrible, those eyes...
-the black leg at the play menu is kinda weird at hips
-the other leg moves in a non human/normal way, do you do that motion with your leg when moving to music??
-her hands don't stay on the headphone
-those tiny parts of the tree look weird, are they supposed to be leaves?
-In the floating in space scene, the legs look a bit weird, are you drawing that from a model picture?
Don't forget that motion in space is mostly three dimensional, just rotating the image isn't really doing it. Just look at some commercial example of what you're doing or experiment with less movement.
-her chest looks a bit weird in the same scene
The overal art is far from bad, but your animation skill should get more attention. Try animate things as if they're real. You can have an abstract or stylish style, but just remember to think of how things would move in real life.
It might become a really nice piece of animation if you put some more work and attention into it.
Also consider having a purpose for the flash, it seems like it can become a great music video animation, if I were you I'd search the music portal for some songs that really get to you.
Then animate your artwork to resonate the same rhythm and style in a professional way.
Do not forget that in movies the music is created to fit the scene
and in music video's the video is created to fit the music.
I hope my review helps you on your way to become a great artist, it might sound a bit generally negative but do not forget I'm just doing what you asked, pointing out the the weak parts to help you.
I have no problems with what you stated and it gives me a lot to think about. Thanks for commenting.
I don't mind your art direction, and I really love the starry sky in the background. But apart from the intro, everything's pretty motionless... the girl especially. The best thing would be for a trance-like track to play, and she dances and sings. There are comets and night lights flickering and appearing every now and then, and it's an exhilarating space trip.
Now, I know animating this will be a chalenge, considering how you animated the girl in the intro. Even that animation wasn't completely seamless. The concept is alright, but a lot of work -- and I mean A LOT -- needs to be done.
great idea's thanks.
Nice work in progress but I'll still criticize first. I wish there was more done with this. It would be nice if your character danced to better sound track that what you've chosen here. Also, your attempt to detail using individual grass blades and leaves really clashes with the background. I know I've read somewhere that if your not going to take the time to do almost every single part of things like eyelashes, glass blades, leaves, hair. Then you need to draw it all together or it won't look right.
I did really like the direction that the video was going in, but it was short and still.
Also your work on the character is very well done, but you need to smooth out the movements so there isn't a stark contrast between sections of the body.
2 1/2 stars, you can make this work.
Thanks for the comment if will help me make the final animation the best it can be.
Well I think the preloader needs to be a bit more obvious that is a preloader...but I'm just a noob I guess...
Well the art style is really fantastic. The animation though is a bit stiff, but that's actually okay so long as you make the animation more dynamic. If you have lots of interesting shots and imagery to go with the music it won't seem like I'm watching a "still" picture. It's difficult for me to explain but I guess to sum it up, if you're going to rely mostly on motion tweens for animating, make sure you have a variety of them. Don't do long takes either, change it up.
Good luck! Hope this was helpful!
very helpful thanks a lot. LOL about the pre-loader...
newgrounds.com — Your #1 online entertainment & artist community! All your base are belong to us.