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Discovering the Scarlett Johansson Nudes. Oh my.
LOL haha ok That was funny
Well I did get a good laugh out of this, but have to say this was really short, Now i suppose you were trying to get this joke across and you did, it was actually pretty entertaining and you did pull of the joke well, i just thought that it was too short, maybe if you added a few short clips of random animation in one flash package it would be a better quality of flash and not so short, its an idea and would be an oberall better experiencefor others, So my advice is make it longer, add more story or add more short toons in one flash over the just one short toon. The art and little animation it did have was actually notbad though, but again too fast too short with this one, but in the end i did get a good laugh out of this one.
~~THINGS TO IMPROVE ON~~
Since this was a short a real short short flash more like a clip, why not add more to it, stretch out the story, or maybe just have orther shorts in one flash entry like 3 or 4 differant short animations instead of just 1 short one.
Yes Eddache, "It's too short" is, indeed, a legitimate complaint. By all means, this should have a lower score for just that exact reason. If the prospect of someone complaining about the lackluster qualities in your movie are enough to scare you off then you're a massive puss. Ericho's review was fair & kind & you regurgitated it as if he kicked you in the balls. I'd hate to see how you'd respond to truly negative critique, which is what I'm about to give to you now:
#1: The animation and artwork are shitty.
First & foremost, why do your characters only ever have three fingers when it's widely known that three fingers is not a stylistic choice of studio produced content but rather a budget cut? Your movies aren't dependent on a budget at all, you make them on your own & in your spare time, that means you don't have to answer to anyone nor do you have an actual deadline, which means that taking such a shortcut is nonsensical & fucking stupid.
Furthermore, why is it that whenever your characters clench their hands into fists they always cup their thumbs underneath their other four fingers? Hell, they even punch other people with their hands clenched like that even though in reality it would break their thumbs; the thumb is supposed to curve over the other four fingers, not under. Hell, that's something that people learn when they're in Kindergarten.
It appears as though you don't even know how to properly use Flash. If you do, then why is that freshly opened soda can bent to shit? Oh wait, I see, you didn't use the Oval tool to create the top of the can with with but rather the paint brush tool, the amateur's animation tool. And are you really so lame as to use a white to transparent radiant gradient to simulate light? I guess you had to, after all the shading on the characters face suggests that light is coming in from behind him rather from the monitor, despite the fact that the monitor is clearly the only light source in the room. I'm not even saying that the use of gradients is the problem, it's how they're being applied that blows; perhaps if you used a linear white to transparent gradient to convey the light beaming at him rather than this miniature star lookin' shit clamped between the monitor and the character's face, then it might be fine. But no, wait, then we'd still have to problem of the nonsensical shading to contend with.
Oh, and motion tweening? Really? It would have taken you only three frames of frame by frame animation to convey him extending his arm forward, but not only that, the way it's done suggests that his forearm is twisted at a 360 angle because it's origin point is jabbing half way into his arm. The monitor stand suggests that we're seeing the monitor from directly behind the screen, but to the right it's angled to look it's facing the character, so which is it? Don't tell me that this guy just has a fucked up monitor that's curved into a hump, that's obviously not what you're trying to convey here. Learn some perspective.
#2: The programming is lame and uninspired.
It's becoming more & more accepted by this point that, unless you're using copyrighted content in your video, if the author doesn't have either CPM Star ads or the NG API ads installed into their movie that the author is relatively ghetto in terms of understanding the absolute basics of action script, even despite the fact that the NG API comes with instructions on how to install it. If you don't care to make a legitimate attempt then why should I care to be nice? There are no controls for operating the movie, that is to say for pausing, rewinding, fast fowarding, returning to the menu ect. Hell, even I program keyboard commands in some of my shittier Flash submissions and I'm regarded as one of the shittiest authors on this site. At least you have a preloader set up, but I wouldn't be surprised if that were an uphill struggle for you to pull off with all things considered.
Before you try to retort my critique by critiquing my content, please note that ad hominems do not a solid argument make.
Ha, oh you. Writing a full blown essay of severe critique, ripping apart every square inch you can, for a 15 cartoon about a man ejaculating all over himself.
But, I'll assume you're also talking broadly about my work in general, not just specifically this. So I'll do my best to respond to your points.
There is absolutely no need for this cartoon to be a second longer than it needs to be. What is there to be added? The character sitting down and starting up the computer? Him standing up at the end to go for a shower? It was just intended to be a very quick and silly response to the nude pics with no need for further elaboration. There is no predefined limit to the length of cartoons so there is no point needlessly stretching out for time. My original point was that the frequent complaints of "It's too short" drives these short silly cartoons to other places like YouTube where no-one cares if it's short. In fact, it often works better. So Newgrounds could be losing out on great super-short toons because commenters are unhappy that it wasn't longer. Things can be too long and drag or too short and miss the point, but more often than not, toons are as long as they need to be.
It's not a budget cut. I can afford to draw 4 fingers & a thumb. It's a method that makes hands easier to draw. Hands are tricky, I guess because they're so recognisable that flaws are obvious. So cartoons give them sausage fingers so that gestures are clearer and easier. But with big fingers, it often means losing the extra digit. It's a stylistic choice many adopt, myself growing up on Looney Tunes saw it all the time, along with giant eyes and noses.
Technically I do have a deadline. It's when my free time runs out. I have a life that I don't need fill up drawing perfectly proportioned anatomically correct bodies. I'll go out on a limb and even say that no-one gets that anal about it unless they were being professional. I think everyone can tell I'm not a professional.
The amateurs animation tool? Hah! You better tell all the top artists of Newgrounds because I think most of them use brush tools! As for the oval tool, or the line tool in general, that's a much lengthier process which I only really employ for cartoons such as Edd Egg.
Light & Shading-
Yes, I used a shortcut for lighting. And the shading was actually meant to be a glow, but in retrospect that wasn't clear. I guess that means I won't be winning that Tank Award.
Hah! There it is. I was waiting for that. I'll be the first one to tell you I am not an animator. Nope. I just make stuff I hope people like. Some miss the mark and some get a lot of positive feedback. Ultimately, I hold content in greater priority to presentation. You knew it was meant to be his arm moving so job done. It could have been animated better but I'm not trying to be Disney here.
This whole bit is laughable. I don't see how programming knowledge is even relevant artistically. I don't care about ads & I never use controls (I'd just watch it on YouTube if I was that bothered). In fact, this was meant to just be on YouTube so I just lazily threw in the NG preloader thinking I doubt anyone will care.
Overall, many of your points are correct. I'm not great artist nor a great animator. I'm not a programmer at all and really only use flash as a means to make silly things that some seem to enjoy. My interests in animating have wained anyway and I've made more and more shortcuts in production, but still with the aim of getting the content across.
Your critique, while correct for the most part, seems to wish for more effort poured into something that really doesn't merit it. And also over-the-top about extremely minor points that no-one really cares about.
I would argue that you ought to learn some perspective too.
that is just so true
Yep. That was my reaction when I first saw them. And for this slice of truth I will rate this highly.
Blue Pencilmate meets Red Pencilmate, but things don't go so well...
While taking the day off work, Lloyd and Glynis take in a movie
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